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In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.8

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 8
It is true that refusal of job application based on age limits has been spreading rapidly, and this would be unlawful in some countries. However, in this essay explain about the good movement of such countries and describe the benefits of this trend become illicit too. Initially, every citizen have the right to do any job irrespective of age. While, certain companies and industries banned some old age people or set some limit to the age. In brief, having a job to fulfill life needs and maintain sustainable livelihood would be an ultimate aim of everyone. Make use of aged employees would lead to profitability as per the experience and life time establishment. Get ride of such person would be a detrimental effect on society and individual well being. For instance, escalating old age homes and slum persons would be the after effect of this unemployment by the age restrictions. Thereby taking action by the legislation would make reduction in poverty and wellness of individual and entrepreneurs. On the other hand, those who applied age barrier as illegal makes up many youngsters and graduates become employed. In other words, many graduates become unemployed as per the age limits after completion of many years of learning process. Universities and professional emerging criteria of multiple degree lead to over age for some students. Moreover, highly educated young employees become the forthcoming scientists and experts and so limiting age might be destroy their mind in some extent. For example, many genius working in NASA were highly professionals and holding many degree without considering age to study and opting job. To sum up, although, some jobs has some dilemma to finish up by the cause of age related issues, many peoples have the courage to do any works at any age periods. Take legislation over this prohibited rules would mitigate a detrimental effects on poverty and unemployment' s and flourish the overall development of country.
It is true that refusal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
application based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limits has been spreading
rapidly
, and this would be unlawful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.
However
, in this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
movement of such countries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the benefits of this trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
illicit too.

Initially
, every citizen have the right to do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
irrespective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. While, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and industries banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
In brief
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to fulfill life needs and maintain sustainable livelihood would be an ultimate aim of everyone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of aged employees would lead to profitability as per the experience and
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
establishment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
Did you mean "rid" ('get rid of' = 'discard' or 'get free of')?
ride
of such person would be a detrimental effect on society and individual
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
For instance
, escalating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes and slum persons would be the after effect of this unemployment by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
restrictions. Thereby taking action by the legislation would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
reduction in poverty and wellness of individual and entrepreneurs.

On the other hand
, those who applied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
barrier as illegal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters and graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
employed.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
unemployed as per the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limits after completion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of learning process. Universities and professional emerging criteria of multiple degree lead to over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students.
Moreover
,
highly
educated young employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the forthcoming scientists and experts and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
might be
Consider using the past participle "destroyed"?
destroy
their mind in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
genius working in NASA were
highly
professionals and holding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
degree without considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to study and opting job.

To sum up, although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dilemma to finish up by the cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
related issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
peoples have the courage to do any works at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
periods. Take legislation over this prohibited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
would mitigate a detrimental effects on poverty and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployment&
#039; s and flourish the
overall
development of country.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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