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TPO-01 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reaso v.2

TPO-01 - Independent Writing Task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reaso v. 2
By and large, There is no doubt that nowadays, educational institution plays a pivotal role in people’s future lives. No one can deny the influence of education on our private life. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is how to split the financial support among different parts of a university. some people may hold this viewpoint that it is better to allocate most of the financial support to classes and libraries to enhance student’s knowledge in their field of study. However, some others may take an opposite view and believe that universities budget should equally allocate between sports, social activities and classes, sports. As for this writer opinion, I do not subscribe to this idea. In what follows, I will delve into the most crucial reason to substantiate my viewpoint. The first compelling reason corroborating my stance is that people enter to the university in order to reach deep knowledge in their field of study and they want to prepare themselves for getting an appropriate job in the future life. students should focus on their lesson and course, and in this regard, they need suitable classes and libraries. it is crystal clear that one of the prominent problems in the university is no using of proper apparatus in classes and also, inadequate books in the libraries. it is vital that universities allocate most of the budget for improving the quality of classes and libraries because parents select a university by the university educational equipment, not sporting equipment. As a case in point when I wanted to choose my university, I was looking for a university with good libraries equipped with up-to-date apparatus and pleasant library space. because the university and education were not my final goal and that was a temporary bridge between high school and getting a job. students only wanted to prepare themselves for the future by enhancing their knowledge and practical experience in the classes. Furthermore, A survey conducted by experts from oxford university shows that over 90% of people use another place to have sport and social activities. Indeed, parents want to separate education from other ingredients. they believe that sport and social activities in the university could distract the student from the main goal. To illustrate that idea, let’s consider the following example. one of my friends was studying at a university with high-level sports equipment’s. he always filled his time by sports in the university like swimming, soccer, tennis and so on. finally, he got low score in his courses, and the university fired up him from the institution. this example clearly illustrates my point The main conclusion to be drawn from this article is that the universities should spend most of the budget on enhancing educational elements and factors. To put it briefly, I firmly contend that by evaluating the merits and demerits of the idea, not only it be recognized as an evidence-based, but also it can be accepted speculatively.
By and large, There is no doubt that nowadays, educational institution plays a pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. No one can deny the influence of education on our private life. A controversial question which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised regarding this issue is how to split the financial support among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold this viewpoint that it is better to allocate most of the financial support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
knowledge in their field of study.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others may take an opposite view and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
budget should
equally
allocate between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, social activities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. As for this writer opinion, I do not subscribe to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In what follows, I will delve into the most crucial reason to substantiate my viewpoint.

The
first
compelling reason corroborating my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enter to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in order to reach deep knowledge in their field of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
study and
they want to prepare themselves for getting an appropriate job in the future life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
students
should focus on their lesson and course, and in this regard, they need suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that one of the prominent problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is no using of proper apparatus in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and
also
, inadequate books in the libraries.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is vital that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
allocate most of the budget for improving the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and libraries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents select a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
educational equipment, not sporting equipment. As a case in point when I wanted to choose my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I was looking for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
libraries equipped with up-to-date apparatus and pleasant library space.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and education were not my final goal and that was a temporary bridge between high school and getting a job.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wanted to prepare themselves for the future by enhancing their knowledge and practical experience in the classes.

Furthermore
, A survey conducted by experts from oxford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that over 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
another place to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and social activities.
Indeed
, parents want to separate education from other ingredients.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and social activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
could distract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from the main goal. To illustrate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s consider the following example.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of my friends was studying at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
with high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipment’s.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
always filled his time by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
like swimming, soccer, tennis and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
finally
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
low score in his courses, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
fired up him from the institution.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
example
clearly
illustrates my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
point


The main conclusion to
be drawn
from this article is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should spend most of the budget on enhancing educational elements and factors. To put it
briefly
, I
firmly
contend that by evaluating the merits and demerits of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it
Did you mean "is"?
be
recognized as an evidence-based,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
speculatively
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-01 - Independent Writing Task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reaso v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
492 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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