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In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.3

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 3
Funding to schools by several junk food hotels, and even supermarkets in order to advertise their products has become common in various countries throughout the world. There are numerous pros and cons of this phenomenon. I, however, think that merits outweigh the demerits. On the positive side, school administration can use the received money to provide essential amenities for the school children. Since there are ample of facilities which are needed for the overall development of the students, therefore the management authorities can employ the capital to enhance the necessary requirements in the premises. For instance, if there is a lack of sports equipments or library books, then management can look into the matter to fulfil the services needed. Moreover, it should be further used to improve the infrastructure. This way the funds can be utilized in the growth of schools. In contrast, it has its downside as well. Advertisements of fast foods and other valuable materials would be detrimental for the health, and it would have an adverse impact on their behaviour. Because children do not realise that such food is not adequate for a healthy living. They simply attract due to the spicy taste of cuisines, and ultimately compels their parents to provide money to purchase those things, which in turn, disturbs the family budget. In the UK, for example, about 70 percent of the children are suffering from the problem of obesity. To elucidate, such adverts should not be allowed on the campus as it is imperative to impart healthy habits for the future of the country. In conclusion, allocation of funds to educational institutes by large marketing companies is both advantageous and disadvantageous. But the deteriorating effects are more in comparison to the useful ones.
Funding to schools by
several junk
food hotels, and even supermarkets in order to advertise their products has become common in various countries throughout the world. There are numerous pros and cons of this phenomenon. I,
however
,
think
that merits outweigh the demerits.

On the
positive
side, school administration can
use
the received money to provide essential amenities for the school children. Since there are ample of facilities which
are needed
for the
overall
development of the students,
therefore
the management authorities can employ the capital to enhance the necessary requirements in the premises.
For instance
, if there is a lack of sports equipments or library books, then management can look into the matter to fulfil the services needed.
Moreover
, it should be
further
used
to
improve
the infrastructure. This way the funds can
be utilized
in the growth of schools.

In contrast
, it has its downside
as well
. Advertisements of
fast
foods and other valuable materials would be detrimental for the health, and it would have an adverse impact on their
behaviour
.
Because
children do not
realise
that such food is not adequate for a healthy living. They
simply
attract due to the spicy taste of cuisines, and
ultimately
compels their parents to provide money to
purchase
those things, which in turn, disturbs the family budget. In the UK,
for example
, about 70 percent of the children are suffering from the problem of obesity. To elucidate, such adverts should not be
allowed
on the campus as it is imperative to impart healthy habits for the future of the country.

In conclusion
, allocation of funds to educational institutes by large marketing
companies
is both advantageous and disadvantageous.
But
the deteriorating effects are more
in comparison
to the useful ones.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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