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In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v.6

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v. 6
In certain countries, despite the decrease of the serious crimes, people feel more unsafe than the past days. In the following paragraphs, we are going to discuss about what makes people feel unsafe and what actions can be taken to make people feel secure. Firstly, the main reason for the insecurity are cyber crimes. Though it looks like crime rates have been reduced, but people are feeling insecure when they use any social media or banking transactions through the web. A study from Oxford University states that 37% of India's crimes are banking crimes, out of which, 78% of them are through the internet. Secondly, the population that works in the late night have been increased, such as, BPO and 24 hour support jobs, which makes a platform for the criminals. In addition, the punishments and penalties are not tough enough that the crimes like theft, molestation and human trafficking are charged with few years of imprisonment. So, criminals are not much scared of the aftereffects even if they get caught. On the other hand, people should be very careful when they share their information in social media or any other site on the internet. Most importantly, not sharing the confidential credentials like, banking password or pin numbers with anyone may help us keep our money safe. Unfortunately, metro cities are the victims of all new generation crimes as they are thickly populated and people with more exposure to the internet. The younger generation should avoid hanging around with strangers, especially, when drunk. Alcohol is the main reason for most of the domestic crimes as it makes the person to go any extent when in the influence of alcohol. Making use of the police emergency number will be helpful when needed. The law and order should be very strict in a city, so that professional criminals will stay away from hurting innocent people. To recapitulate, each and everyone in the society is responsible for any mishaps in the surroundings. When we see that anyone is in need of help, people should come forward and volunteer. To add more, children should be taught that they should behave responsibly and respect other gender since childhood. This will slowly create a positive aura in the society. After all, we all are dependant on each other in this world.
In certain countries, despite the decrease of the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more unsafe than the past days. In the following paragraphs, we are going to
Did you mean simply "discuss what"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel unsafe and what actions can
be taken
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel secure.

Firstly
, the main reason for the insecurity are cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Though it looks like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are feeling insecure when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any social media or banking transactions through the web. A study from Oxford University states that 37% of India's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are banking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, out of which, 78% of them are through the internet.
Secondly
, the population that works in the late night have
been increased
, such as, BPO and
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
24 hour
support jobs, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a platform for the criminals.

In addition
, the punishments and penalties are not tough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like theft, molestation and human trafficking
are charged
with few years of imprisonment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, criminals are not much scared of the aftereffects even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful when they share their information in social media or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
site on the internet. Most
importantly
, not sharing the confidential credentials like, banking password or
This phrase is redundant ('N' stands for 'number'). Consider using "pins".
pin numbers
with anyone may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our money safe. Unfortunately, metro cities are the victims of all new generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as they are
thickly
populated and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more exposure to the internet.

The younger generation should avoid hanging around with strangers,
especially
, when drunk. Alcohol is the main reason for most of the domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the person to go any extent when in the influence of alcohol. Making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the police emergency number will be helpful when needed. The law and order should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strict in a city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that professional criminals will stay away from hurting innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To recapitulate, each and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
in the society is responsible for any mishaps in the surroundings. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that anyone is in need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward and volunteer. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more, children should
be taught
that they should behave
responsibly
and respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
gender since childhood. This will
slowly
create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aura in the society.
After all
, we all are
Did you mean "dependent" on?
dependant
on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in this world.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it? v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
385 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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