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In some countries, employees are generally given two weeks of paid vacation time each year. In other countries, employees are given four or six weeks of paid vacation time. Considering the needs of both employee and employer, what do you think is a reasonable amount of paid vacation time for employees to have? v.1

In some countries, employees are generally given two weeks of paid vacation time each year. In other countries, employees are given four or six weeks of paid vacation time. Considering the needs of both employee and employer, what do you think is a reasonable amount of paid vacation time for employees to have? v. 1
Around the world the quantity of the days off at work to taking holidays is different, being in some countries two weeks per annual period in contraposition to other countries that offer four or six weeks. In my opinion, I believe that two weeks of vacation is not enough for the employees, for that reason, the employer should face the costs and give them more than four weeks. First of all, all workers need to have time to relaxing and being with family and friends without following a routine. In two weeks, nobody has enough time to relax his mind, and be prepared to go back to work to face the routine for a lot of months again. For example, in first world countries, people are given four or six weeks to the holiday. In these places, the employers are interested to preserve the mental and physical health of their employees. Secondly, is understandable that the payment for all these quantities of weeks off per each employee is difficult to afford. Especially, if we are talking about small companies or ones that just are starting. Just in these cases, it is acceptable if each employee has to reduce his vacations’s amount. However, the owner of big companies must find a way to provide a proper amount of days off for all workers. To sum up, every person who is working deserves more than four weeks per year to taking holidays. Who should pay for that are the employers due to taking care of the workers is their responsibility.
Around the world the quantity of the days off at work to taking holidays is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, being in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
per annual period in
Possible spelling mistake found.
contraposition
to other countries that offer four or six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
. In my opinion, I believe that two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
of vacation is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the employees, for that reason, the employer should face the costs and give them more than four weeks.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, all workers need to have time to relaxing and being with family and friends without following a routine. In two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
, nobody has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to relax his mind, and
be prepared
to go back to work to face the routine for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
months again.
For example
, in
first
world countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
four or six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
to the holiday. In these places, the employers
are interested
to preserve the mental and physical health of their employees.

Secondly
, is understandable that the payment for all these quantities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
off per each employee is difficult to afford.
Especially
, if we are talking about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or ones that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
are starting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
in these cases, it is acceptable if each employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
his
Did you mean "vacation’s" or "vacations’"?
vacations’s
amount.
However
, the owner of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find a way to provide a proper amount of days off for all workers.

To sum up, every person who is working deserves more than four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weeks
per year to taking holidays. Who should pay for that are the employers due to taking care of the workers is their responsibility.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay In some countries, employees are generally given two weeks of paid vacation time each year. In other countries, employees are given four or six weeks of paid vacation time. Considering the needs of both employee and employer, what do you think is a reasonable amount of paid vacation time for employees to have? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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