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In some countries, some criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so the general public can watch. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

In some countries, some criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so the general public can watch. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
People are able to watch criminal trials on television in some countries. I believe that broadcasting criminal trials can bring about more advantages to societies than any disadvantages they might bring. On the one hand, societies can greatly benefit from showing trials on television. Firstly, criminals who have malicious intents are discouraged from carrying out their plans because of fear. In other words, watching other criminals’ trials and seeing their punishments can threaten them and force them to forsake their plans, thus, keeping society safe. Secondly, people have a feeling of security and justice when they see criminals being punished in front of them, especially when these criminals offended them or someone they know. This can be exemplified by witnessing the punishments of murderers or other offenders which can be satisfying to people and prove to them that their country is just. On the other hand, there are some minor drawbacks of allowing people to watch what is happening in every trial. It can frighten children as they might be watching television either alone or with their parents. The whole atmosphere in the court is rather harsh and not suitable for children to watch as they might see the terror on criminals’ faces and hear words like execution. Moreover, broadcasting trials can bring shame to offenders alongside their families. Consequently, people might start bullying offenders’ families, who can be good and kind citizens. In addition to that, when offenders finish serving their prison sentences, they can be faced with difficulties in finding employment, therefore, leading them to commit crime again. In conclusion, showing criminal trials on television is advantageous to societies since it threatens existing criminals as well as make citizens feel secure and safe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. I believe that broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
can bring about more advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
than any disadvantages they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
bring.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
can
greatly
benefit from showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who have malicious intents
are discouraged
from carrying out their plans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fear. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
and seeing their punishments can threaten them and force them to forsake their plans,
thus
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
safe.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a feeling of security and justice when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
being punished
in front of them,
especially
when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
offended them or someone they know. This can
be exemplified
by witnessing the punishments of murderers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
which can be satisfying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and prove to them that their country is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor drawbacks of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
what is happening in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trial
. It can frighten children as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
either alone or with their parents. The whole atmosphere in the court is
rather
harsh and not suitable for children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the terror on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals’
faces and hear words like execution.
Moreover
, broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
can bring shame to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
alongside their families.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
bullying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders’
families, who can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and kind citizens.
In addition
to that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
finish serving their prison sentences, they can
be faced
with difficulties in finding employment,
therefore
, leading them to commit crime again.

In conclusion
, showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is advantageous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
since it threatens existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
citizens feel secure and safe.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, some criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so the general public can watch. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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