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The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. v.5

The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. v. 5
It is undeniable that technology has been increasingly used through the world and also applied in a wide range of field, and it is apparent in the classroom recently as well. In my opinion, it is not possible that technology will totally take the place of the role of traditional teachers in a classroom. Teaching is not the only thing that a teacher does in a classroom. In process of teaching, there are plenty things to do such as providing all kinds of supports, supervising their behaviour, directing their studying target and catering all needs of pupils. A very significant aspect of that is to observe closely and focus on the learning process including their feedback and their status. Given that students misunderstand the topic in a classroom, teachers will try their best to rephrase the topic, change the way to make it clear until students can comprehend the content. However, a computerised teacher would be less in-tune with what students need. Despite that technology does help students by providing mass information pools which break borders of nation and language, we should consider more about the process of study process in the classroom. Two-way communication of students and teachers build a comfort zone and friendly study atmosphere for each other. If students need help to deal with their academic problems and mental issues, teachers can actively guide them and helps them with their own practical experience which technology would be hard to duplicate it. In conclusion, even technology benefits students a lot, it is still quite impossible for it to completely take the place of traditional teachers.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has been
increasingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
through the world and
also
applied in a wide
Possible agreement error. The noun 'field' seems to be countable; consider using: "range of fields".
range of field
, and it is apparent in the classroom recently
as well
. In my opinion, it is not possible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
totally
take the place of the role of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in a classroom.

Teaching is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
does in a classroom. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of teaching, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
things to do such as providing all kinds of supports, supervising their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, directing their studying target and catering all needs of pupils. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant aspect of
that is
to observe
closely
and focus on the learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
including their feedback and their status.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
misunderstand the topic in a classroom,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will try their best to rephrase the topic,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can comprehend the content.
However
, a
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would be less in-tune with what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need.

Despite that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by providing mass information pools which break borders of nation and language, we should consider more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
in the classroom. Two-way communication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
build a comfort zone and friendly study atmosphere for each other. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to deal with their academic problems and mental issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
actively
guide them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
practical experience which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to duplicate it.

In conclusion
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a lot, it is
still
quite impossible for it to completely take the place of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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