Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.40

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? v. 40
Nowadays, the question of whether students should learn academic subjects, such as chemistry, physics and history or practical subjects, such as motor mechanics and cooking has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although studying academic subjects is not without advantages, vocational subjects will be far more considered. There are a variety of reasons for studying academic subjects First, since most graduates expect to land a decent job down the road, having access to academic courses is necessary. In fact, most high salaried workers are required to have complex understandings of their disciplines, which can only be achieved if they have taken academic subjects. This means that they are armed with the fundamental knowledge to do research or study, which is conductive human’s innovations and developments later on. First, in order to make a living as soon as possible, students should learn vocational subjects. For instance, these subjects are provided practical skills and work experience without committing 4 years in college, which can help them support themselves and raise their family. Second, if students learn vocational subjects such as baking, cooking, plumber and so on, this will reach a balance of labour markets. Plenty of evidence suggests that the labour markets of Canada or Australia lack of manual jobs or skilled workers that lead to finding foreign workers, which affects the domestic economy. In conclusion, the investment in education will cause more advantages than disadvantages. By considering all pros and cons of paying kids’ education, the government have the best decision for citizens.
Nowadays,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
students should learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as chemistry, physics and history or practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as motor mechanics and cooking has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is not without advantages, vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will be far more considered. There are a variety of reasons for studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
subjects


First
, since most graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to land a decent job down the road, having access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
courses is necessary. In fact, most high salaried workers
are required
to have complex understandings of their disciplines, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
if they have taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. This means that they
are armed
with the fundamental knowledge to do research or study, which is conductive
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human innovations"?
human’s innovations
and developments later on.

First
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, students should learn vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
For instance
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are provided
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and work experience without committing 4 years in college, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them support themselves and raise their family.

Second, if students learn vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as baking, cooking, plumber and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, this will reach a balance of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
markets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Plenty
of evidence suggests that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
markets of Canada or Australia lack of manual jobs or skilled workers that lead to finding foreign workers, which affects the domestic economy.

In conclusion
, the investment in education will cause more advantages than disadvantages. By considering all pros and cons of paying kids’ education, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have the best decision for citizens.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? v. 40

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts