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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.35

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 35
IT IS GENERAL THAT, WE LEARN A LOT OF THINGS FROM OUR PARENTS AND TEACHERS LIKE HOW TO BE A GOOD MEMBER IN A SOCIETY. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT, CHILDREN SHOULD LEARN THIS FROM THEIR PARENTS. WHILE, OTHER ARGUE THAT THIS IS THE JOB OF SCHOOL’S TEACHERS. I WILL DISCUSS BOTH STATEMENTS IN MY NEXT PARAGRAPHS BY GIVING REASONS AND EXAMPLES. FIRST OF ALL, PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT, IF A PERSON WANT TO BE A GOOD MEMBER IN A NEIGHBORHOOD, HE OR SHE SHOULD BE TAUGHT BY THEIR MOTHER AND FATHER. I THINK, PARENTS ARE THE BEST TEACHER OF THEIR SIBLINGS TO TEACH BEHAVIOUR. THEY PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE TO SEEK THEIR CHILDREN HOW TO RESPECT AND BE A GOOD PERSONALITY. FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN ANY GUEST COME AT HOME, OUR PARENTS TREAT US TO BE RESPECTFULL CHARACTER AND HOW TO GREET OTHERS. THEY DO NOT ONLY TEACH US, THEY ALSO SHOW BY DOING THE SAME THINK, SO THAT THEIR CHILDREN ACT IN AN EFFECTIVE WAY. THUS, I DO NOT THINK THAT, THIS ALL CAN BE DONE BY ANY TEACHER AT SCHOOL. HOWEVER, TEACHERS ROLE IS TO TEACH THEIR STUDENTS ON DIFFERENT SUBJECTS THEORETICALLY. THEY GIVE MORE KNOWLEDGE TO THEIR PUPLIS ABOUT THE SUBJECT, WHICH CAN HELP THEM TO PASS EXAM, SO THAT HE OR SHE COULD BECOME A GOOD WORKER. MEANWHILE, PROFESSORS TEACH TEENAGERS TO MAINTAIN DISCIPLINE IN A CLASSROOM, BUT THEY CANNOT TEACH THEM TO BE A GOOD GUY OR BAD ONE. THIS CAN ONLY LEARNED BY THEIR PARENTS, WHEN THEY ARE AT HOME AND WHERE THEY SPEND A LOT OF THEIR TIME. TO SUMMARIZE, AFTER A HUGE DISCUSSION WHETHER A CHILD SHOULD LEARN TO BE A GOOD PERSON FROM THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS OR PROFESSORS. I COULD SAY THAT, THIS CAN BE LEARNED BY PARENTS AS THEY SPEND THEIR MOST OF TIME WITH THEM AND BY LOOKING THEIR MOTHER AND FATHER ACTING.
IT IS GENERAL THAT, WE LEARN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A LOT OF
THINGS FROM OUR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACHERS
LIKE HOW TO BE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOOD
MEMBER IN A SOCIETY.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
BELIEVE THAT, CHILDREN SHOULD LEARN THIS FROM THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
. WHILE, OTHER ARGUE THAT THIS IS THE JOB OF SCHOOL’S
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACHERS
. I WILL DISCUSS BOTH STATEMENTS IN MY
NEXT
PARAGRAPHS BY GIVING REASONS AND EXAMPLES.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
FIRST OF ALL
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
WHO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
THINK
THAT, IF A PERSON WANT TO BE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOOD
MEMBER IN A NEIGHBORHOOD, HE OR SHE SHOULD
BE TAUGHT
BY THEIR MOTHER AND FATHER. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
THINK
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
ARE THE BEST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACHER
OF THEIR SIBLINGS TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACH
Possible spelling mistake. 'BEHAVIOUR' is British English.
BEHAVIOUR
. THEY PLAY AN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
ROLE TO SEEK THEIR CHILDREN HOW TO RESPECT AND BE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOOD
PERSONALITY.
FOR EXAMPLE
, WHEN ANY GUEST
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COME
AT HOME, OUR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
TREAT US TO BE
Possible spelling mistake found.
RESPECTFULL
CHARACTER AND HOW TO GREET OTHERS. THEY DO NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACH
US, THEY
ALSO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SHOW
BY DOING THE SAME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
THINK
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
THAT THEIR CHILDREN ACT IN AN EFFECTIVE WAY.
THUS
, I DO NOT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
THINK
THAT, THIS ALL CAN
BE DONE
BY ANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACHER
AT SCHOOL.

HOWEVER
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACHERS
ROLE IS TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACH
THEIR STUDENTS ON
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
SUBJECTS
THEORETICALLY
. THEY GIVE MORE KNOWLEDGE TO THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
PUPLIS
ABOUT THE SUBJECT, WHICH CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELP
THEM TO PASS EXAM,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
THAT HE OR SHE COULD BECOME A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOOD
WORKER. MEANWHILE, PROFESSORS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TEENAGERS
TO MAINTAIN DISCIPLINE IN A CLASSROOM,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
THEY CANNOT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TEACH
THEM TO BE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOOD
GUY OR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BAD
ONE. THIS CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
LEARNED BY THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
, WHEN THEY ARE AT HOME AND WHERE THEY SPEND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A LOT OF
THEIR TIME.

TO SUMMARIZE
, AFTER A HUGE DISCUSSION WHETHER A CHILD SHOULD LEARN TO BE A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOOD
PERSON FROM THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS OR PROFESSORS. I COULD SAY THAT, THIS CAN
BE LEARNED
BY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARENTS
AS THEY SPEND THEIR
Consider using "MOST TIME" or "MOST of the TIME".
MOST OF TIME
WITH THEM AND BY LOOKING THEIR MOTHER AND FATHER ACTING.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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