Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.29

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this statement. v. 29
These days, whether a higher tax on fast food could reduce the diet-related health problems have sparked a heated debate. Although such issue is contested by many, it is regarded thoroughly both constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. As such, there are both merits and demerits to this trend, but I am of the opinion that the former outdo the latter. There are a myriad of arguments in favour of my stance, but the most conspicuous one is that a higher tariff on fast food will raise junk food prices, thus reducing the number of sales. Particularly, the main reasons fast food is consumed by most people are it is cheap, fast and convenient. However, if the price of fast food is higher, customer willingness to pay will be lower. This is because nowadays, there are many healthy foods are on supermarket offering reasonable price and easy way to cook. Obviously, between two items with similar price and same level of convenience, the customers will choose the healthy items. Another pivotal aspect of this issue is that citizen health has a close relationship with the development of a country. Research shows that due to a high level of fat, sugar and sodium in fast food, high fast food consumption leads to the higher health risks such as diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. These illnesses can adversely impact on people productivity, thus affecting the economy of a country. Moreover, studies also show that health care system in Australia and America spends most of their budget on diet-related health problems. Thus, the tax from fast food might be used to cover for the health system. In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that the benefits of introducing tariff on fast foods are too great to ignore. Fast food tax can reduce the number of fast food sales and improve the development of a country through lowering the diet-related health problems and increasing the fund for the health care system.
These days, whether a higher tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the diet-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems have sparked a heated debate. Although such issue
is contested
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, it
is regarded
thoroughly
both constructive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
by a substantial number of individuals. As such, there are both merits and demerits to this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am of the opinion that the former outdo the latter.

There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most conspicuous one is that a higher tariff on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will raise junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
,
thus
reducing the number of sales.
Particularly
, the main reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is consumed
by most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
and convenient.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is higher, customer willingness to pay will be
Did you mean "lowed", "lowered"?
lower
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are on supermarket offering reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
and easy way to cook.
Obviously
, between two items with similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
and same level of convenience, the customers will choose the healthy items.

Another pivotal aspect of this issue is that citizen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
has a close relationship with the development of a country. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that due to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, sugar and sodium in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption leads to the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
such as diabetes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
cholesterol, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
blood pressure. These illnesses can
adversely
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
productivity,
thus
affecting the economy of a country.
Moreover
, studies
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system in Australia and America spends most of their budget on diet-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
Thus
, the tax from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cover for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system.

In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that the benefits of introducing tariff on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are too great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
tax can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sales and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the development of a country through lowering the diet-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems and increasing the fund for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this statement. v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts