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Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions. v.5

Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions. v. 5
The Majority of the people are not physically fit and active as they used to be earlier. The main reasons behind this are the worsening of dietary habits and the busy schedule of the people. This problem can be overcome by doing exercises and making public awareness about what they are consuming. The rapid transition from the wholesome traditional diet to the western diet is making people more obese and unfit. They consume more junk food which contains high amount of salt, sugar and saturated fat, which makes them overweight and lazy. Another major cause is the busy lifestyle of the humans. They are most of the time involved in their work or some other activity which leads to stress and due to which they are unable to intake balanced diet. To overcome this problem, there are several solutions which can make the people fit and active as they were in the past. Exercising daily and eating accordingly helps a person to be active and to perform daily tasks by providing energy they need. Moreover, the government should make the public aware about the labeling of the food products so that they are in knowledge about what they are eating. This can be done by organizing health campaigns to spread awareness about the importance of dietary habits. To conclude, people should take care of what they are consuming by reading the labels on the food products and should also exercise daily to keep themselves healthy. Eating right amount of meal at the right time is necessary for a good physique.
The Majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
physically
fit and active as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be earlier. The main reasons behind this are the worsening of dietary habits and the busy schedule of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This problem can
be overcome
by doing exercises and making public awareness about what they are consuming.

The rapid transition from the wholesome traditional diet to the western diet is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more obese and unfit. They consume more junk food which contains high amount of salt, sugar and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them overweight and lazy. Another major cause is the busy lifestyle of the humans. They are most of the time involved in their work or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other activity which leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and due to which they are unable to intake balanced diet.

To overcome this problem, there are several solutions which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fit and active as they were in the past. Exercising daily and eating
accordingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a person to be active and to perform daily tasks by providing energy they need.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the public aware about the labeling of the food products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are in knowledge about what they are eating. This can
be done
by organizing health campaigns to spread awareness about the importance of dietary habits.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take care of what they are consuming by reading the labels on the food products and should
also
exercise daily to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves healthy. Eating right amount of meal at the right time is necessary for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physique.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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