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In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.12

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? v. 12
One of the negative consequences of having a lot of fast food is health problems which are happening to people in many different countries and It is believed that in order to solve this problem, governments should increase the tax on fast food to discourage people. This is although true to a certain extent, I believe that there are some better solutions that governments can use instead. When people are rushing to get to their workplaces, they have limited time to eat breakfast or lunch so having fast food is considered to be the simplest way for this situation. Health problems are likely to occur with people who eat too much fast food and nowadays those people are facing many different diseases such as, overweight, and a high-sugary blood problem which can affect their work performances and studies. First solution, governments should set up an organization that surveys about fast food’s main consumers, then governments should do the campaign to encourage this group of people to eat more clean food by providing some healthy lifestyle clubs, advisors or shops in different areas to give people suggestions and encourage people to take care of their body. Second, governments should improve the educational system for younger generations. They should add the drawbacks of having unhealthy food such as fast food in the lesson and school teachers should teach the students aware of health problems and seriously raise awareness regarding how dangerous having too much fast food can be. The students should know some of the fast-food ingredients and how each and every kind of that can create negative impacts on their body. In conclusion, I somewhat agree with this statement, although I believe that eating so much fast food will lead to health problems but there are some more useful measures that governments can use as a remedy to it than just increasing fast-food tax which are doing clean food campaigns, and educating young people to realize the negative effects of eating unhealthy food
One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which are happening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and It
is believed
that in order to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should increase the tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is although true to a certain extent, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
better solutions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
instead
.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are rushing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their workplaces, they have limited time to eat breakfast or lunch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is considered
to be the simplest way for this situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are likely to occur with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who eat too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and nowadays those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases such as, overweight, and a high-sugary blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which can affect their work performances and studies.

First
solution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should set up an organization that surveys about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food’s
main consumers, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should do the campaign to encourage this group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eat more clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
healthy lifestyle clubs, advisors or shops in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggestions and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take care of their body.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the educational system for younger generations. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the lesson and school teachers should teach the students aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
seriously
raise awareness regarding how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be. The students should know
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food ingredients and how each and every kind of that can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on their body.

In conclusion
, I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, although I believe that eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more useful measures that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as a remedy to it than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food tax which are doing clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
campaigns, and educating young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to realize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of eating unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. with this opinion? v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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