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In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why is this the case? What can be done to deal with this? v.5

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why is this the case? What can be done to deal with this? v. 5
In recent years, the growing percentage of crime committed by teens has become a pressing controversy. This essay will deeply explore this complicated phenomenon, identify the relevant contributing factors and bring up feasible countermeasures. For a start, there is an array of integrated factors contributing to this complicated phenomenon. Chief among the causes is the rapid development of science and technology, linking worlds of the teenagers. Such communication form is a concern, as those committing crimes may reach the innocent, docile minds of other youngsters. For instance, a gang of thieves may find recruiting others as an easier task than ever before, by utilising the means of the internet. It is, moreover, the lack of discipline that fuels the matter. That the standards of modern schooling have deteriorated is undeniable, such that it contributes to the rising rate of juvenile crime. Take Singapore, for example, where students are rigorously trained under the strict schooling system. They, in turn, account for only a scant percentage of these culprits. Confronted with such a thorny issue, parents and educators come up with a variety of effective countermeasures. First of all, the usage of devices should be limited, whether at school or home, to prevent access to the evil of the world. For example, China, in the previous generations, is a flawless illustration. Through their numerous measures in information blocking, the crime-commuters have been segregated from the crowd. Furthermore, a structured education system should be established, entailing a study plan for those youngsters. It is of paramount importance to fill up the time slots for the new generation, which would reduce the time for them to turn to evil. In conclusion, when everyone is aware of the significance in teens violating laws, and carries out appropriate acts, it is conceivable that the rate of such thorny topic will be eased. It is high time for parents and educators to execute the above mentioned measures towards mitigating this problem. Only if we all cooperate will the massive proportion of teenagers violating laws be reduced.
In recent years, the growing percentage of crime committed by teens has become a pressing controversy. This essay will
deeply
explore this complicated phenomenon, identify the relevant contributing factors and bring up feasible countermeasures.

For a
start
, there is an array of integrated factors contributing to this complicated phenomenon. Chief among the causes is the rapid development of science and technology, linking worlds of the
teenagers
. Such communication form is a concern, as those committing crimes may reach the innocent, docile minds of other youngsters.
For instance
, a gang of thieves may find recruiting others as an easier task than ever
before
, by
utilising
the means of the internet. It is,
moreover
, the lack of discipline that fuels the matter. That the standards of modern schooling have deteriorated is undeniable, such that it contributes to the rising rate of juvenile crime. Take Singapore,
for example
, where students are
rigorously
trained under the strict schooling system. They, in turn, account for
only
a scant percentage of these culprits.

Confronted with such a thorny issue, parents and educators
come
up with a variety of effective countermeasures.
First of all
, the usage of devices should
be limited
, whether at school or home, to
prevent
access to the evil of the world.
For example
, China, in the previous generations, is a flawless illustration. Through their numerous measures in information blocking, the crime-commuters have
been segregated
from the crowd.
Furthermore
, a structured education system should
be established
, entailing a study plan for those youngsters. It is of paramount importance to fill up the time slots for the new generation, which would
reduce
the time for them to turn to evil.

In conclusion
, when everyone is aware of the significance in teens violating laws, and carries out appropriate acts, it is conceivable that the rate of such thorny topic will be
eased
. It is high time for parents and educators to execute the above mentioned measures towards mitigating this problem.
Only
if we all cooperate will the massive proportion of
teenagers
violating laws be
reduced
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why is this the case? What can be done to deal with this? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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