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In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this? v.1

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this? v. 1
One disquieting problem faced by many countries is juvenile delinquency. Juvenile delinquency, also simply called delinquency, is referring to antisocial and unlawful behavior in which person under the age of 18 commits it. This abusive behavior which is known as the child and adolescent version of crime occurs more and more in the world. This essay will depict about this phenomenon encompassing both of the potential reasons which affect the number of this offense and the effective solutions which should be implemented to tackle this problem. Two possibly quintessential reasons for a high number of delinquencies are environment and economic perspective. Firstly, there is no doubt that neighborhood significantly impact on a person’s development including their behavior, for instance, friendship. Friends have an important influence to form the child’s character either to be good or bad as a child will copy peers. Bad friendship, especially and ultimately, is the one potential factor contributing to the number of delinquency. Secondly, another factor is economic perception. Delinquency is an indicator of the general prosperity of country. In society with low level of prosperity, the number of juvenile violation is noted higher than other countries on it. In another word, citizens, mainly children and adolescents of that country do offenses because perhaps they do not have another choice to satisfy their life necessary except delinquency. Consequently, many countries create a number of greatly helpful decisions to conquer it. One effective way to overcome this worrying delinquency is through comprehensive strategy. It is multidisciplinary way from government collaborating with families, schools, communities, and other related parties. It is four helpful principles that can be done: (1) strengthening and enhancing the family in its main responsibilities to form the children’s moral and character, and also controlling their activities in neighborhoods; (2) enhancing the supporting from core social institutions such as schools, religion communities, and social communities; (3) releasing and promoting delinquency prevention campaign; (4) establishing a system of comprehensively graduated sanctions depending on the level and frequency of violation. As a result, if those principles is implemented in a country, a number of juvenile offenses will be reduced significantly, moreover, not exist anymore. To sum up, a tremendous threatening behavior, the juvenile delinquency is caused by two potential causes such as an environment and economic perspective. To tackle this issue, a comprehensive strategy from government is believed as the effective way to solve it collaborating with families, communities, and other related parties.
One disquieting problem faced by
many
countries
is
juvenile
delinquency
.
Juvenile
delinquency
,
also
simply
called
delinquency
, is referring to antisocial and unlawful
behavior
in which person under the age of 18 commits it. This abusive
behavior
which
is known
as the child and adolescent version of crime occurs more and more in the world. This essay will depict about this phenomenon encompassing both of the potential reasons which affect the
number
of this offense and the effective solutions which should
be implemented
to tackle this problem.

Two
possibly
quintessential reasons for a high
number
of
delinquencies
are environment and economic perspective.
Firstly
, there is no doubt that neighborhood
significantly
impact on a person’s development including their
behavior
,
for instance
, friendship. Friends have an
important
influence to form the child’s character either to be
good
or
bad
as a child will copy peers.
Bad
friendship,
especially
and
ultimately
, is the one potential factor contributing to the
number
of
delinquency
.
Secondly
, another factor is economic perception.
Delinquency
is an indicator of the general prosperity of
country
. In society with low level of prosperity, the
number
of
juvenile
violation
is noted
higher than other
countries
on it. In another word, citizens,
mainly
children and adolescents of that
country
do offenses
because
perhaps they do not have another choice to satisfy their life necessary except
delinquency
.
Consequently
,
many
countries
create a
number
of
greatly
helpful decisions to conquer it.

One effective way to overcome this worrying
delinquency
is through comprehensive strategy. It is
multidisciplinary
way from
government
collaborating with families, schools,
communities
, and other related parties. It is four helpful principles that can
be done
: (1) strengthening and enhancing the family in its main responsibilities to form the children’s moral and character, and
also
controlling their activities in neighborhoods; (2) enhancing the supporting from core social institutions such as schools, religion
communities
, and social
communities
; (3) releasing and promoting
delinquency
prevention campaign; (4) establishing a system of
comprehensively
graduated sanctions depending on the level and frequency of violation.
As a result
, if those principles
is implemented
in a
country
, a
number
of
juvenile
offenses will be
reduced
significantly
,
moreover
, not exist anymore.

To sum up, a tremendous threatening
behavior
, the
juvenile
delinquency
is caused
by two potential causes such as an environment and economic perspective. To tackle this issue, a comprehensive strategy from
government
is believed
as the effective way to solve it collaborating with families,
communities
, and other related parties.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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