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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both sides and express your opinion. v.20

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 20
A few professionals in some countries have extremely high monthly income. Although few people believe that this is beneficial for a nation, others think that there must be a limit on the earning amount and government must use some measures to control it. In my opinion, I consider that having higher salaries, in certain professions, works in favour of a nation in many ways. On the one hand, some people opine that allowing higher pay in certain professions can be advantageous for a country as it will stop the brain drain situation which is currently faced by many underdeveloped countries. In other words, many highly skilled professionals, of such countries, leave their home country and settle abroad, where they get better salaries as compared to their home country. Therefore, if these people will be able to earn more in their motherland then they will not switch to other developed nations to improve their financial status. As a result, country will benefit from their talent and intelligence in the long run. On the other hand, it is thought by some that the government should put a capping on the amount earned. They believe that by controlling the salaries, government will be able to save more funds for other necessary developments such as medical and education. Another reason why control is beneficial is that there will be less discrimination based on the standard of living. This will turn the world into a happier place. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that income should not be restricted, and people should be able to earn as per their skills.
A few professionals in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
extremely
high monthly income. Although few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is beneficial for a nation, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a limit on the earning amount and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to control it. In my opinion, I consider that having higher salaries, in certain professions, works in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of a nation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that allowing higher pay in certain professions can be advantageous for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the brain drain situation which is
currently
faced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
highly
skilled professionals, of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and settle abroad, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better salaries as compared to their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to earn more in their motherland then they will not switch to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developed nations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their financial status.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will benefit from their talent and intelligence in the long run.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should put a capping on the amount earned. They believe that by controlling the salaries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will be able to save more funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
necessary developments such as medical and education. Another reason why control is beneficial is that there will be less discrimination based on the standard of living. This will turn the world into a happier place.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that income should not
be restricted
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be able to earn as per their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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