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In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. what are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v.1

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. what are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 1
There is no doubt that the traffic congestion is a common issue around the globe. While few towns and cities face traffic issues, which can be solved by taking necessary steps. In this essay I will explore some of the problems associated with traffic and propose some solutions. One of the pressing problems of heavy traffic is due to over usage of vehicles. This is because most people travel in their private transport, which increases the vehicles on the roads. For example, many people travel in their own vehicle for work even if public transport is available, this leads to the packed roads during rush hours. It can be solved, if government provides cheaper public transport system, so that people are attracted towards such scheme in order to save their money. As a result, public transports are opted over private vehicles which will curtail the traffic problem. Another root cause of this problem is narrow roads. This is one of the reasons why traffic jams, which creates chaos among the public. For instance, if roads are not wide enough, it would affect the traffic flow badly, which happens mostly in areas with poor infrastructure, and people suffer a lot while waiting in the jams. Unless the government takes the initiative for the expansion of roads, the roads will be frequently have traffic problems, even if people started travelling on public transports. Therefore, it is highly imperative to build better roads. In conclusion, Although modern cities face a variety of problems due to traffic, these problems are not insurmountable. In my view, it is the government's responsibility to tackle these issues, and they should begin by considering some of the solutions proposed above.
There is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion is a common issue around the globe. While few towns and cities face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issues, which can
be solved
by taking necessary steps.

In this essay I will explore
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

One of the pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is due to over usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel in their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, which increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
on the roads.

For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
for work even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is available, this leads to the packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
during rush hours. It can
be solved
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
towards such scheme in order to save their money.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
are opted
over private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
which will curtail the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problem.

Another root cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is narrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. This is one of the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams, which creates chaos among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are not wide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, it would affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
flow
badly
, which happens
mostly
in areas with poor infrastructure, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer a lot while waiting in the jams. Unless the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes the initiative for the expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
will be
frequently
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
travelling on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
.
Therefore
, it is
highly
imperative to build better roads.

In conclusion
, Although modern cities face a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are not insurmountable. In my view, it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility to tackle these issues, and they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by considering
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
solutions proposed above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. what are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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