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In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem. v.1

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem. v. 1
Gridlock has become a crucial matter throughout the all nations at an alarming rate. I am going to scrutinize the factors responsible and remedial measures related to this trend in the forthcoming paragraphs. First and foremost reason behind the heavy congestion is growing population all over the world rapidly. Consequently, it leads to the usage of more and more cars by people everywhere. For instance, a survey conducted by a news channel 'The economic times' that in Delhi, more than 3 millions individuals are using their own vehicles to commute one place to the other. Moreover, the majority of the masses have been suffering unreliability from the public mode of transportations, such as hikes in the price of the tickets, as well as, poor condition of public vehicles. Thus, they do not rely much on transport facilities provided by the bureaucrats. Turning in the elucidations to tackle the problem of bottlenecks. Governments should take into consideration the concern of influx seriously. To minimise the usage of self-vehicles by the citizens, they should campaign through the advertisements, schools, colleges, and public places about hazardous threats of causing pollution through more use of cars. Although, they should impose strict rules regarding the freight signals. As a result, individuals would follow the rules, which helps to improve this problem. Furthermore, authorities should reduce the price of the tickets and some changes could be made fruitfully in the public transportation. For example, in Japan, administration provides audio and video equipments to their passengers, which embark the number of the people to use more government transports. To recapitulate, it is lucid that overpopulation, poor maintenance of the public transportation lead to traffic jams. However, this subject can be solved by advantageous measures effectively. Individuals should aware about the consequences of rush hour movement, that they should also participate to get rid of this crucial issue.
Gridlock has become a crucial matter throughout the all nations at an alarming rate. I am going to scrutinize the factors responsible and remedial measures related to this trend in the forthcoming paragraphs.

First
and foremost reason behind the heavy congestion is growing population all over the world
rapidly
.
Consequently
, it leads to the usage of more and more cars by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
everywhere.
For instance
, a survey conducted by a news channel 'The economic times' that in Delhi, more than 3 millions individuals are using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles to commute one place to the other.
Moreover
, the majority of the masses have been suffering unreliability from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
mode of transportations, such as hikes in the price of the tickets,
as well
as, poor condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicles.
Thus
, they do not rely much on transport facilities provided by the bureaucrats.

Turning in the elucidations to tackle the problem of bottlenecks.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should take into consideration the concern of influx
seriously
. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the usage of self-vehicles by the citizens, they should campaign through the advertisements, schools, colleges, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places about hazardous threats of causing pollution through more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cars.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, they should impose strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
regarding the freight signals.
As a result
, individuals would follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this problem.
Furthermore
, authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the price of the tickets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
could
be made
fruitfully
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.
For example
, in Japan, administration provides audio and video equipments to their passengers, which embark the number of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
transports.

To recapitulate, it is lucid that overpopulation, poor maintenance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation lead to traffic jams.
However
, this subject can
be solved
by advantageous measures
effectively
. Individuals
The word 'aware' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
should aware
about the consequences of rush hour movement, that they should
also
participate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this crucial issue.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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