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Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? And give possible solution v.2

Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? And give possible solution v. 2
• Of late, not enough walking is the prevailing concern in the significant part of the world. A sea change has been witnessed regarding the health issues which are caused by lack of walking exercise. The following paragraphs would elucidate the causes of the problem and propose a handful of remedial measures • To commence with reasons, primarily, people are so much busy in their work as they have become workaholic when did not get enough time which taken do other activities. secondarily, as most of the cities are built in such a way a death citizens are afraid to walk on road moreover, due to the introduction of new buildings in town they demolished the parks and many pathways will layman use to walk • Furthermore, technology advancement has taken in every field so it has definitely boosted the automobile sectors and almost all the human beings owns private vehicle which do not allow them to go anywhere on foot no matter if the distance is short • undoubtedly, every lock has key, therefore, looking towards the solution foremost one is, advertisement sector should be encouraging more on the benefits of walking and also aware the general public about the problem caused by not working at all. In addition to this, cities should be planned in such a manner that there should be a pedestrian where people can walk safely. Moreover, individuals should use bicycles for travelling short distances. To conclude the discussion, I would say that the people in the street must be aware of the health issues which might be caused by lack of walking daily
• Of late, not
enough
walking is the prevailing concern in the significant part of the world. A sea
change
has
been witnessed
regarding the health issues which
are caused
by lack of walking exercise. The following paragraphs would elucidate the causes of the problem and propose a handful of remedial
measures


• To commence with reasons,
primarily
,
people
are
so
much busy in their work as they have become workaholic when did not
get
enough
time which taken do other activities.
secondarily
, as most of the cities
are built
in such a way a death citizens are afraid to walk on road
moreover
, due to the introduction of new buildings in town they demolished the parks and
many
pathways will layman
use to
walk

• 
Furthermore
, technology advancement has taken in every field
so
it has definitely boosted the automobile sectors and almost all the human beings
owns
private vehicle which do not
allow
them to go anywhere on foot no matter if the distance is short

• 
undoubtedly
, every lock has key,
therefore
, looking towards the solution foremost one is, advertisement sector should be encouraging more on the benefits of walking and
also
aware the
general public
about the problem caused by not working at all.
In addition
to this, cities should
be planned
in such a manner that there should be a pedestrian where
people
can walk
safely
.
Moreover
, individuals should
use
bicycles for travelling short distances.

To conclude
the discussion, I would say that the
people
in the street
must
be aware of the health issues which might
be caused
by lack of walking daily
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? And give possible solution v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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