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In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. give your opinion v.27

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. give your opinion v. 27
Adulthood period has variable challenges nowadays, however it brings major changes for the person, not only on his physical appearance, but also for his character. The united states government issued a law that prevents youngsters to go out after a precise time during the night if they do not have an adult relative. In my opinion, this attitude makes young boys and girls safer, and this goes along with the popularity of thieves and gangs. In this essay, my situation along with examples will be discussed before reaching a conclusion. On one hand, some people see that these such decisions make their life harder, because if they cannot go outside during night, they will not finish tasks that they have to do at a daytime, but they do not have enough time, as they are busy. In other words, they may be attending school and doing their homework, so they procrastinate their duties till. For example, some teenagers apply for part time job at night to earn some money to help their parents or to be independent and live alone. Thus, this illustrates what this law can do for young boys who want to be responsible. On the other hand, others see that it is logical to restrict teenagers' freedom, because this stage of lifespan is sensitive and requires more care. They believe, it is the authority to take care of those youth by giving them financial benefits. In addition, youngsters should be forbidden from going to night clubs, unless they are not 18 years old. For instance, some teenagers may addict to drugs during this stage of life, as they can try a drug that they do not know its negatives. Hence, this example makes it logical to make these decisions. In conclusion, after this essay has shown both perspectives and it certain the responsibility of the government to take care of. I am of the belief that it is logical to issue such laws.
Adulthood period has variable challenges nowadays,
however
it brings major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
for the person, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on his physical appearance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for his character. The
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
issued a law that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
youngsters to go out after a precise time during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
if they do not have an adult relative. In my opinion, this attitude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
young boys and girls safer, and this goes along with the popularity of thieves and gangs. In this essay, my situation along with examples will
be discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a conclusion.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that these such decisions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their life harder,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they cannot go outside during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
, they will not finish tasks that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do at a daytime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time, as they are busy.
In other words
, they may be attending school and doing their homework,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they procrastinate their duties till.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
apply for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents or to be independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone.
Thus
, this illustrates what this law can do for young boys who want to be responsible.

On the other hand
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that it is logical to restrict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
' freedom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this stage of lifespan is sensitive and requires more care. They believe, it is the authority to take care of
Did you mean "this youth" or "those youths"?
those youth
by giving them financial benefits.
In addition
, youngsters should
be forbidden
from going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
clubs, unless they are not 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may addict to drugs during this stage of life, as they can try a drug that they do not know its negatives.
Hence
, this example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it logical to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
these decisions.

In conclusion
, after this essay has shown both perspectives and
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
certain the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take care of. I am of the belief that it is logical to issue such laws.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. give your opinion v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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