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In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v.6

In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 6
Recently in certain parts of the US, adolescents have been strictly forbidden from going outside without the supervision of at least one of their parents or any other legal guardian. This kind of restriction is gaining support in some quarters. From my perspective, this practice is reasonable, and there are several compelling reasons why the youth must be accompanied by an adult when they go outdoors late at night. First and foremost, from the perspective of road traffic safety, there are indisputable benefits which result from this kind of curfew. Those youngsters who go outdoors might get seriously injured or even killed by careless or drunk drivers at such late hours in the evening or night. Moreover, youngsters sometimes forget to pay attention to the road conditions. If an adult is present and watching out for them, it would be less likely for them to be involved in a car accident or an accidental injury. Secondly, considering the increased possibility of encountering violence at night, the advantages of a curfew should not be overlooked. Serious crimes, such as robberies, murders, as well as kidnappings are more likely to occur at night. Thus, it makes sense to impose a night curfew on teenagers, for their own safety. In conclusion, I am convinced that teenagers should not go out late at night unaccompanied by an adult. The increased risk of road accidents as well as the higher rate of crime and violence at night are two compelling reasons for that.
Recently in certain parts of the US, adolescents have been
strictly
forbidden from going outside without the supervision of at least one of their parents or any other legal guardian. This kind of restriction is gaining support in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quarters. From my perspective, this practice is reasonable, and there are several compelling reasons why the youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be accompanied
by an adult when they go outdoors late at night.

First
and foremost, from the perspective of road traffic safety, there are indisputable benefits which result from this kind of curfew. Those youngsters who go outdoors might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
seriously
injured or even killed by careless or drunk drivers at such late hours in the evening or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
Moreover
, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
forget to pay attention to the road conditions. If an adult is present and watching out for them, it would be less likely for them to
be involved
in a car accident or an accidental injury.

Secondly
, considering the increased possibility of encountering violence at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
, the advantages of a curfew should not
be overlooked
. Serious crimes, such as robberies, murders,
as well
as kidnappings are more likely to occur at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense to impose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
curfew on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
safety.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should not go out late at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
unaccompanied by an adult. The increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of road accidents
as well
as the higher rate of crime and violence at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
are two compelling reasons for that.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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