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In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v.11

In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 11
In this day and age majority of people are living in metropolitan cities and suburbs are drastically expanding. Although cities are a delicate place to live and they provide vast range of work and leisure time, but there is sometimes the place to face different problems. This essay will illustrate some of the problem and then propose some way to tackle with them. One of The main problem is the polluted air and water caused by daily routines and city life. The solution is for government to tackle with the number of cars which are allowed to hustle and bustle per day. Also raising the taxes for every kind of fuels is also helping a lot. Another major issue might be the prices related to buy or rent a house. In many cities, buying a house often costs people an arm and a leg. This adversity could be addressed by Giving people a different kind of helping budget, supported by a bank. Finally, another obstacle facing people who live in cities is the high stress levels. Most of the people living in cities work under high work pressure, often leaving them emaciated at the end of the day. The majority of people tend to have no time For themselves. To solve this problem, a great warning about health must be created by both the government as well as the organizations. Furthermore, the number of working hours could be reduced. To sum up, although cities are desirable for living. It is undoubtedly that these adversities must be solved, Governments and local people must join hands to improve the situation
In this day and age
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and suburbs are
drastically
expanding. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are a delicate place to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
live and
they provide vast range of work and leisure time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the place to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. This essay will illustrate
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and then propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way to tackle with them.

One of The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the polluted air and water caused by daily routines and city life. The solution is for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to tackle with the number of cars which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to hustle and bustle per day.
Also
raising the taxes for every kind of fuels is
also
helping a lot.

Another major issue might be the prices related to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or rent a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
costs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
an arm and a leg. This adversity could
be addressed
by Giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of helping budget, supported by a bank.

Finally
, another obstacle facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
work under high work pressure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leaving them emaciated at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have no time For themselves.

To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, a great warning about health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be created
by both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the organizations.
Furthermore
, the number of working hours could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are desirable for living. It is
undoubtedly
that these adversities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be solved
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
situation
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 11

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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