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In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science. What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science. What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed? v. 2
SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT, MOSTLY FEMALE GENDER TOOK PART IN THE FIED OF ART AND MALE IN SCIENCE. I BELIVE THAT DECORATION IS MOST FAVOURITE ACTIVITY AMONG GIRLS THAT’S WHY, THEY CHOOSE ART, WHILE, USING ELECTRONIC GADGETS WERE MORE POPULAR FOR BOYS, SO THEY PARTICIPATE IN SCIENCE IN SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. IT IS GENERALLY THAT, GIRLS TEND TO LIKE DRAWINGS FROM BEGINNING OF THEIR LIFE. THEY LIKE TO DECORATE THEIR HOME WITH DIFFERENT FLOWERS AND PICTURES, WHICH FASCINATE THEM A LOT TO TAKE PART IN ART SUBJECT IN COLLEGES. HOWEVER, THOSE WHO THINK THAT, MOST OF THE BOYS USED TO SELECT SCIENCE IN UNIVERSITIES, THIS IS BECAUSE THEY GREW UP WITH PLAYING OS USING TECHNOLOGICAL EQUIPMENTS. FOR EXAMPLE, PLAYING COMPUTER OR VIDEO GAMES, COLLABORATIONG WITH ELECTRONIC WIRES. IN THIS WAY THEY BECOME MORE FAMILIAR WITH VARIOUS GADGETS AND TOOK DECISION OR PARTICIPATING IN THE FIELD OF SCIENCE WHERE ALMOST ALL THINGS ARE AVAILABLE ACCORDING TO THEIR FAVOURITE ACTIVITY. MEANWHILE, THERE SHOULD BE SOME CHANGES FOR THE PROGRAMMES CHOOSEN BY MALES AND FEMALES. MODERN ERA IS ALL ADDAPTED WITH TECHNOLOGY AND PEOPLE ARE USING MORE ITEMS SUCH AS MOBILE PHONES, COMPUTERS OR LAPTOPS AND SO ON. THEY LIKE TO SPEND THEIR HIGHLY TIME ON THESE. THUS, BOTH GENDERS WILL PARTICIPATE IN THE FIELD OF SCIENCE WHICH GIVES THEM LOTS OF INFORMATION RELATED TO THESE. ALL IN ALL, ART WAS FAVOURITE SUBJECT AMONG WOMEN BECAUSE THEY DO MORE WORK OF DECORATION AND SCIENCE AMONG MEN BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS PLAY WITH TECHNOLOGICAL GADETS. BUT, THIS CAN CHANGE N THE FUTURE, AS THE MODERN TIME IS ALL FULL OF TECHNICAL ITEMS, SO ALSO FEMALES WILL JOIN MORE SCIENCE AS THE MALE DO IN UNIVERSITIES.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
SAY THAT,
MOSTLY
FEMALE GENDER
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TOOK PART
IN THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
FIED
OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ART
AND MALE IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
.
Did you mean "I BELieVE"?
I BELIVE
THAT DECORATION IS MOST
Possible spelling mistake. 'FAVOURITE' is British English.
FAVOURITE
ACTIVITY AMONG GIRLS THAT’S WHY, THEY CHOOSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ART
, WHILE, USING ELECTRONIC GADGETS WERE MORE POPULAR FOR BOYS,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
THEY PARTICIPATE IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
IN SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.

IT IS
GENERALLY
THAT, GIRLS TEND TO LIKE DRAWINGS FROM BEGINNING OF THEIR LIFE. THEY LIKE TO DECORATE THEIR HOME WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
FLOWERS AND PICTURES, WHICH FASCINATE THEM A LOT TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
TAKE PART
IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ART
SUBJECT IN COLLEGES.
HOWEVER
, THOSE WHO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
THAT, MOST OF THE BOYS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
TO SELECT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
IN UNIVERSITIES, THIS IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THEY GREW UP WITH PLAYING OS USING TECHNOLOGICAL EQUIPMENTS.
FOR EXAMPLE
, PLAYING COMPUTER OR VIDEO GAMES,
Possible spelling mistake found.
COLLABORATIONG
WITH ELECTRONIC WIRES. IN THIS WAY THEY BECOME MORE FAMILIAR WITH VARIOUS GADGETS AND TOOK DECISION OR PARTICIPATING IN THE FIELD OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
WHERE ALMOST ALL THINGS ARE AVAILABLE ACCORDING TO THEIR
Possible spelling mistake. 'FAVOURITE' is British English.
FAVOURITE
ACTIVITY.

MEANWHILE, THERE SHOULD BE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGES
FOR THE
Possible spelling mistake. 'PROGRAMMES' is British English.
PROGRAMMES
Possible spelling mistake found.
CHOOSEN
BY MALES AND FEMALES. MODERN ERA IS ALL
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADDAPTED
WITH TECHNOLOGY AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
ARE USING MORE ITEMS SUCH AS MOBILE PHONES, COMPUTERS OR LAPTOPS AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
ON. THEY LIKE TO SPEND THEIR
HIGHLY
TIME ON THESE.
THUS
, BOTH GENDERS WILL PARTICIPATE IN THE FIELD OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
WHICH GIVES THEM LOTS OF INFORMATION RELATED TO THESE.

ALL IN ALL,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ART
WAS
Possible spelling mistake. 'FAVOURITE' is British English.
FAVOURITE
SUBJECT AMONG WOMEN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THEY DO MORE WORK OF DECORATION AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
AMONG
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MEN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THEY ALWAYS PLAY WITH TECHNOLOGICAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
GADETS
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
, THIS CAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGE
N THE FUTURE, AS THE MODERN TIME IS ALL FULL OF TECHNICAL ITEMS,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
ALSO
FEMALES WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
JOIN
MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
AS THE MALE DO IN UNIVERSITIES.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science. What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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