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In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science. What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.6

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science. What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed? v. 6
Observation has concluded that mostly girls select arts while boys take the science field in school and University. There are many reasons for above occurrence. In my perception this trend should be changed. Among the many reasons of an elective course in educational life, perhaps, the most plausible one is related to a mentality of society. To be precise, some people think that girls should not go outside of work. For instance, in India some individuals have a narrow mindset they believe that girls should not able to learn hard branches of education. Furthermore, the second reason is relevant to interest about subjects and course. In other words, women are more interested in designing and that type of activity than men. For example, recent survey illustrates fashion design and other art related job mostly chosen by the female. Thus, more girls admission seen in this field. First, foremost argument from those who support this trend should be changed, including myself is related to gender equality. It means girls and boys have the same rights in the education and secret their fields and I agree this notion. Stream section does not depend on sex because scientists also accept that every human have the same mind so everyone can study are it science. For example, Kalpana Chawla was an astronaut, engineering and the first woman of Indian descent to go to space. Moreover, Hakim is one of the famous hair artists in India. Therefore, selection of field is not dependent on gender. It is a part of the choice. In conclusion, females prefer the arts, whereas make take technology regarding field because of the mind set and interest for the subject and definitely this trend will be changed due to gender equality.
Observation has concluded that
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
select arts while boys take the science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
in school and University. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for above occurrence. In my perception this trend should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.

Among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons of an elective course in educational life, perhaps, the most plausible one
is related
to a mentality of society. To be precise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should not go outside of work.
For instance
, in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals have a narrow mindset they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should not able to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
branches of education.
Furthermore
, the second reason is relevant to interest about subjects and course.
In other words
, women are more interested in designing and that type of activity than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
For example
, recent survey illustrates fashion design and other art related job
mostly
chosen by the female.
Thus
, more
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "girls'" or "girl's"?
girls
admission
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in this field.

First
, foremost argument from those who support this trend should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, including myself
is related
to gender equality. It means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and boys have the same rights in the education and secret their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this notion. Stream section does not depend on sex
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
scientists
also
accept that every human have the same mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone can study are it science.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalpana
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chawla
was an astronaut, engineering and the
first
woman of Indian descent to go to space.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hakim
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
hair artists in India.
Therefore
, selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is not dependent on gender. It is a part of the choice.

In conclusion
, females prefer the arts, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
take technology regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the mind set and interest for the subject and definitely this trend will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to gender equality.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts while boys like science. What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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