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In school and universities girls tend to choose art while boys like science What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed v.2

In school and universities girls tend to choose art while boys like science What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed v. 2
It is generally seen that in secondary and tertiary educational institutes, girls opt for arts subject whereas boys take up science subjects. In this essay I shall put a light on reasons. I believe that this needs a change. There are many reasons why girls choose arts subject. Firstly, right from exam childhood it is ingrained into girls that they are good in housekeeping and a foster mother. So, they do not have to study bore subjects like science. They are encouraged to study art subjects like home science and social science, which would later help them to do the household chores. Secondly, career advice from parents and teachers girls opts for art. Mostly, women work as teacher, nurses etc. whereas boys on the other hand, went to technical field for jobs and so they solid background in science. Proving further, parents are hesitate to spent a lot on girls education, especially in countries like India. There is a well known fact that fee structure of Science College is generally higher than an art institute. They think that their daughter will get married and go to her husband’s home. So whether they spend n her is expenditure and oppose to it they contemplate money spent on their son’s education as investment. After competition, their son will secure high paid job and definitely add to family’s income. I personally believe that this trend needs to be changed. Choice of subjects should be on aptitude and gender should not come in. In the 21st century, the gender inequality is disappearing and girls going into space and boys are working as chef and nurses. To illustrate, Indra Nooyi is the CEO of and chief person of Pepsico and sanjiv kapoor is most famous chef of my country. To conclude, today, we live in egalitarian society where gender biased choose of subjects should need to changed. Basically, the selection of subjects should be depend on students aptitude.
It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in secondary and tertiary educational institutes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
whereas boys take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. In this essay I shall put a light on reasons. I believe that this needs a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
Firstly
, right from exam childhood it
is ingrained
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
that they are
The usual preposition for this expression is "at". Did you mean, "good at housekeeping"?
good in housekeeping
and a foster mother.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study bore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. They
are encouraged
to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, which would later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to do the household chores.
Secondly
, career advice from parents and teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
opts for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Mostly
, women work as teacher, nurses etc. whereas boys
on the other hand
, went to technical field for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jobs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they solid background in science.

Proving
further
, parents are
Consider using a past participle here: "hesitated".
hesitate
Did you mean "to spend"?
to spent
a lot on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "girls'" or "girl's"?
girls
education,
especially
in countries like India. There is a well known fact that fee structure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
College is
generally
higher than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
institute. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their daughter will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married and go to her husband’s home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
whether they spend n her is expenditure and oppose to
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they contemplate money spent on their son’s education as investment. After competition, their son will secure high paid job and definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to family’s income.

I
personally
believe that this trend needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be on aptitude and gender should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in. In the 21st century, the gender inequality is disappearing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
going into space and boys are working as chef and nurses. To illustrate, Indra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nooyi
is the CEO of and chief person of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pepsico
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sanjiv
Possible spelling mistake found.
kapoor
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
chef of my country.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in egalitarian society where gender biased choose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Basically
, the selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be
Consider using the past participle "depended"?
depend
on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
aptitude.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay In school and universities girls tend to choose art while boys like science What are the reasons for this trend and do you think this tendency should be changed v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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