In my opinion, an egalitarian society is one in which everyone has the same rights and the same opportunities. I completely agree that people can achieve more in this kind of community. Education is an important factor with regard to personal success in life. I believe that all children should have access to free schooling, and higher education should be either free or affordable for all those who chose to pursue a university degree. In a world without free schooling or affordable higher education, only children and young adults from wealthier families would have access to the best learning opportunities, and they would therefore be better prepared for the job market. This kind of inequality would ensure the prosperity of any but harm the prospects of others. I would argue that equal rights and opportunities are not in conflict with people’s freedom to succeed or fail. In other words, equality does not mean that people lose their motivation to succeed, or that they are not allowed to fail. On the contrary, I believe that most people would feel more motivated to work hard and reach their potential if they thought that they lived in a fair society. Those who did not make the same effort would know that they had wasted their opportunity. Inequality, on the other hand, would be more likely to motivate people because they would know that the odds of success were stacked in favour of those from privileged backgrounds. In conclusion, it seems to me that there is a positive relationship between equality and personal success.
In my opinion, an egalitarian society is one in which everyone has the same rights and the same
opportunities
. I completely
agree
that
people
can achieve more in this kind of community. Education is an
important
factor with regard to personal success in life. I believe that all children should have access to free schooling, and higher education should be either free or affordable for all those who chose to pursue a university degree. In a world without free schooling or affordable higher education,
only
children and young adults from wealthier families would have access to the best learning
opportunities
, and they would
therefore
be better prepared for the job market. This kind of inequality would ensure the prosperity of any
but
harm the prospects of others. I would argue that equal rights and
opportunities
are not in conflict with
people’s
freedom to succeed or fail.
In other words
, equality does not mean that
people
lose their motivation to succeed, or that they are not
allowed
to fail.
On the contrary
, I believe that most
people
would feel more motivated to work
hard
and reach their potential if they
thought
that they
lived
in a
fair
society. Those who did not
make
the same effort would know that they had wasted their
opportunity
. Inequality,
on the other hand
, would be more likely to motivate
people
because
they would know that the odds of success
were stacked
in
favour
of those from privileged backgrounds.
In conclusion
, it seems to me that there is a
positive
relationship between equality and personal success.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes