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Traffic problems are increase in most cities. What can be done about this? v.1

Traffic problems are increase in most cities. What can be done about this? v. 1
Currently, in many countries, there are more serious problems with traffic, such as traffic jams, accidents, which have serious problems for the economy and development and also to the health people. There will be several reasons for preventing it in this essay. First of all, the homey has to do a larger road where more cars its help preventing trafficking and accidents. For example, many people go somewhere and fast not knowing himself, he is breaking laws and it will result in an accident. But have people who violate road laws to punish them more provincial put a camera punish all of them who violate laws. And with it, if people's culture is good, then it isn't needed. Because they know it is poor. As a result, it all depends on the culture that they have. On the other hand, roads changed for the season. Like, in winter, roads more dangerous it is due fact that the roads become slippery. But new technology helps to prevent it. The country will be more harm to the economy. Because he reconstruct everything which have harmed. All harm changes to money and take it in person who break laws. Last have the thing which is to help people and also an agrarian spare their own money and spend on the good of the people. In conclusion, the Country does everything so that people go to work and to do what they owe. And in this help technology. People must be violating laws which are created bucolic for the road.
Currently
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, there are more serious problems with traffic, such as traffic jams, accidents, which have serious problems for the economy and development and
also
to the health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There will be several reasons for preventing it in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the homey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do a larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
where more cars its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to prevent" or "prevent".
preventing
trafficking and accidents.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go somewhere and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
not knowing himself, he is breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and it will result in an accident.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to punish them more provincial put a camera punish all of them who violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
. And with it, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's culture is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, then it isn't needed.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they know it is poor.

As a result
, it all depends on the culture that they have.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
for the season. Like, in winter,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
it is due fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
become slippery.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
new technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it. The country will be more harm to the economy.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "reconstructs", "reconstructed".
reconstruct
everything which have harmed. All harm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to money and take it in person who break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
. Last have the thing which is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
also
an agrarian spare their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money and spend on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, the Country does everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to work and to do what they owe. And in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
technology.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be violating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
which
are created
bucolic for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Traffic problems are increase in most cities. What can be done about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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