Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. v.3

Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. v. 3
I am in total agreement with the statement. Apropos of the statement, very expensive space research programs are straining the government budget, jeopardising essential and more pertinent issues like education and healthcare which impact majority of the population especially in developing countries. Many developing nations, as well as third world countries, still have extremely poor literacy rates & very high percentage of people lack access to even primary education. Very few people who can get basic skills like reading and writing are unemployable due to lack of proper vocational training. The government resources should be spent on something as basic and important as employable education. Basic health care is also one of the most important issues. Exponentially increasing medical costs are making access to primary health care out of reach for many. Maximum countries still lack the basic medical infrastructure. Governments should prioritise medical research making health care accessible & far-reaching. Crime control, law and justice departments need more attention and budget and mass people are being directly affected with the lacking of basic needs. When many people starve every day and lots of people are not getting proper treatment, space research seems a luxury we can’t afford. We need to focus on the very basic needs first and then when we have the capability to conduct the space research, only then we should continue this. To conclude, though some think that space programs are essential for the advancement of science and technologies, a multitude of basic problems like education & medical & health care should be given a paramount importance.
I am in total agreement with the statement. Apropos of the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
programs are straining the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jeopardising' is British English.
jeopardising
essential and more pertinent issues like education and healthcare which impact
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the population
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developing nations,
as well
as third world countries,
still
have
extremely
poor literacy rates &
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lack access to even primary education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like reading and writing are unemployable due to lack of proper vocational training. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
resources should
be spent
on something as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as employable education.

Basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is
also
one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues.
Exponentially
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
costs are making access to primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
out of reach for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. Maximum countries
still
lack the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
infrastructure.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
accessible & far-reaching.

Crime control, law and justice departments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more attention and budget and mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
with the lacking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
starve every day and lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not getting proper treatment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
seems a luxury we can’t afford. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to focus on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
first
and then when we have the capability to conduct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then we should continue this.

To conclude
, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
programs are essential for the advancement of science and technologies, a multitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
problems like education &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
&
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a paramount importance.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts