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In recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

In recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
Shopping is the best part which is cherished by females the most. As these days there is growing number of malls opening at a rapid pace which is very much lucrative to the customer's. On the other hand, small shops located in isolated places are suffering to the customers who prefer more going to malls. In my opinion, it's a positive development overall. In this essay we will discuss the positive's and negative's of this situation. To begin with, the positive side of purchaser prefers going to malls. In a shopping mall, a person can get all the things at a place under the same roof. The buyer doesn't need to travel for their different needs to different locations. It's all under a single roof and with a huge variety of products. For example, a customer wants to buy clothes and vegetables is short of time. In the malls, the buyer will have a wide variety of dresses from different brands plus there will also be a food market from where he can buy the veggies for himself. Moreover, if a family is travelling to a mall, it's an entertainment also where the kids can enjoy in the fun-zone or in playing activity area's. On the other hand, the negative impact of malls is the traditional shops which are located in local market are small in size with stocks been limited. If a customer wants to buy a dress or a piece of cloth, he has to buy from that particular shop which has less variety of clothes and dresses. To sum up, I would say centres or malls are impacting a positive development overall. As a buyer can have each and everything under one roof in a less span of time. In this way, the economy also gets the boost while spending. Therefore, malls through a positive impact over development.
Shopping is the best part which
is cherished
by females the most.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
these days there is growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
opening at a rapid pace which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much lucrative to the customer's.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops located in isolated places are suffering to the customers who prefer more going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. In my opinion, it's a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
development
overall
.

In this essay we will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
's and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
's of this situation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
side of purchaser prefers going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. In a shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the things at a place under the same roof. The buyer doesn't need to travel for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
needs to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations. It's all under a single roof and with a huge variety of products.

For example
, a customer wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
clothes and vegetables is short of time. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, the buyer will have a wide variety of dresses from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands plus there will
also
be a food market from where he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the veggies for himself.
Moreover
, if a family is travelling to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
, it's an entertainment
also
where the kids can enjoy in the fun-zone or in playing activity area's.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is the traditional shops which
are located
in local market are
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
small in size
with stocks
been limited
. If a customer wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a dress or a piece of cloth, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
from that particular shop which has less variety of clothes and dresses.

To sum up, I would say
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are impacting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
development
overall
. As a buyer can have each and everything under one roof in a less span of time. In this way, the economy
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the boost while spending.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact over development.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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