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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 8
Nowadays, minute rural stores have closed down due to the fact that buyers commute to larger shops or malls to buys goods. I think it is a negative development because the smaller stores will not be given the opportunity to grow and expand. When customers stay in their locality to buy products, the local market will grow. In other words, they will be able to purchase more products that will meet the demand of the consumer. For example, Mrs James, who owned a small shop in front of her house, opened one beside our estate gate because people in the estate patronized her little business rather than going to the mall outside the estate. Therefore, if buyers patronize smaller department stores, it will enable them to grow. Furthermore, the small outlets will expand if consumers buy from them. This is because they will know what is lacking in their shop and as such, they will purchase those items to meet the needs of their purchaser. That way, the shop will expand and more merchandise will be available for sale. For Instance, my neighbour told me about how she had to start selling provisions in her store because people were always demanding it. That is to buttress the fact that local outlets will expand when customers purchase goods from them. In conclusion, local outlets are closing down because clients prefer to buy merchandise from big shops. I believe it is a negative development as it will not give room for the local shops to grow and expand.
Nowadays, minute rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
have closed down due to the fact that buyers commute to larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
or malls to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to grow and expand.

When customers stay in their locality to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
products, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market will grow.
In other words
, they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
more products that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand of the consumer.
For example
, Mrs James, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in front of her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, opened one beside our estate gate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the estate patronized her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
business
rather
than going to the mall outside the estate.
Therefore
, if buyers patronize smaller department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, it will enable them to grow.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
outlets will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
if consumers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
from them. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will know what is lacking in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and as such, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
those items to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of their purchaser. That way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
and more merchandise will be available for sale.
For Instance
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me about how she had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
selling provisions in her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were always demanding it.
That is
to buttress the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
outlets will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
when customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
outlets are closing down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
clients prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
merchandise from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. I believe it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development as it will not give room for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to grow and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expand
.
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The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because consumers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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