Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v.2

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2
The debate whether it is a positive trend that today many people choose large shopping centres or malls as they go to choice for shopping, as opposed to buying from a local shop has become a matter of discussion for many. Personally, I believe that it should be viewed as a beneficial development. In this essay, I shall discuss and outline the benefits of this trend. To start with, there are numerous predominant reasons, which makes it a positive tendency. Firstly, it allows the public to purchase items at a fair price without having to go through the hassle of bargaining. For example, often times owners of such local shops may decide to sell their products for a very large profit and they do so by selecting a price much larger than its original value. Secondly, before shopping centres and mall became popular, local shops had the monopoly on the market. This was a problem, as the price of one product might be higher at one shop and much lower at another, making it a hectic task to find reasonably priced material. Moreover, shopping malls are generally a great place to find international products that otherwise may not be available anywhere. This is due to the fact that companies that own such centres and malls have a larger budget and reach to import goods from overseas. Furthermore, it also provide a safe and fun place to spend time with family. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in contemporary life. From the given arguments and examples, I am inclined to say that the positive points of this trend surpass the negative effects. In the future, we could expect to see further growth in this sector, as the demand for quality and cheaper price is growing rapidly among the public.
The debate whether it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
as they go to choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, as opposed to buying from a local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
has become a matter of discussion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
Personally
, I believe that it should
be viewed
as a beneficial development. In this essay, I shall discuss and outline the benefits of this trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are numerous predominant reasons, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
tendency.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
items at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
without having to go through the hassle of bargaining.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
times owners of such local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
may decide to sell their products for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
profit and
they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
much larger than its original value.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
became popular, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
had the monopoly on the market. This was a problem, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of one product might be higher at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and much lower at another, making it a hectic task to find
reasonably
priced material.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are
generally
a great place to find international products that
otherwise
may not be available anywhere.
This is due to the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
such
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have a larger budget and reach to import
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from overseas.
Furthermore
, it
also
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
a safe and fun place to spend time with family.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions in contemporary life. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and examples, I
am inclined
to say that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points of this trend surpass the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. In the future, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
further
growth in this sector, as the demand for quality and cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is growing
rapidly
among the public.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or mall to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts