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some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. v. 2
No doubt technology is an important part of modern human life, one cannot imagine life without technology. Considering this, machinery also became a valuable aspect of modern teaching and learning and a study tool for young students. But some people believe, dependency on automation can be harmful for young minds. The technology is completely integrated in the modern learning system and all teachers and professors also use it as a medium for instruction by using PowerPoint presentations and videos to deliver their lectures. Also, students are able to use these materials efficiently in their learning process. By using the internet and web learning resources keen learners are not limited to class notes and books. They are practicing the knowledge by going to online platforms and getting more information to feed their curiosity. Like every coin has two sides, every invention has some benefits and drawbacks, and digital era is not an exception. It has opened broad horizons for students and made learning easy and interesting, but too much dependency on tools, have adverse effects on developing learners. Most of individuals are completely dependent on calculators even for simple calculations and mathematical problems which takes away the learning aspect of doing simple mathematics by their own self. Students try to take an easy way to complete their homework or assignments by copying from the internet in place of reading books or class notes to understand the homework to find solutions. In my opinion, balance is the solution. In schools, students should be given access to tools, but along with that they should be given practical exposure to learn new concepts by using workshops and activities that integrate the use of their own thinking process to get the answers. So, balance in learning new things by doing them and handling knowledge to excel their work will make learners more productive and give them overall growth.
No doubt technology is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of modern human life, one cannot imagine life without technology. Considering this, machinery
also
became a valuable aspect of modern teaching and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and a study tool for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe, dependency on automation can be harmful for young minds.

The technology is completely integrated in the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
system and all teachers and professors
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it as a medium for instruction by using PowerPoint presentations and videos to deliver their lectures.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these materials
efficiently
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process. By using the internet and web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
resources keen learners are not limited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
notes and books. They are practicing the knowledge by going to online platforms and getting more information to feed their curiosity.

Like every coin has two sides, every invention has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks, and digital era is not an exception. It has opened broad horizons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
easy and interesting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
too much dependency on tools, have adverse effects on developing learners.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the individuals") or simply say "Most individuals".
Most of individuals
are completely dependent on calculators even for simple calculations and mathematical problems which takes away the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
aspect of doing simple mathematics by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
try to take an easy way to complete their homework or assignments by copying from the internet in place of reading books or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
notes to understand the homework to find solutions.

In my opinion, balance is the solution. In schools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
access to tools,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
along with that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
practical exposure to learn new concepts by using workshops and activities that integrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thinking process to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the answers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, balance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
new things by doing them and handling knowledge to excel their work will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
learners more productive and give them
overall
growth.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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