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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.10

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 10
Now a day, People refer to going for shopping in malls rather than a small local shop. In shopping malls, several options are available instead of local shop. I personally believe that the trend of shopping malls is a quite positive development of the nation and harmful effect of the local shop. On the one hand, In large shopping mall different kinds of product available for example: clothes, makeup, groceries, children's toys and food and beverages as well as with cinema, play zone area and food court facilities can be also accessible. At festival time the malls promote discounts offer, free concert tickets or gifts to attract costumers so they can visit the shopping centres frequently. Secondly people feel comfortable, safe and secure even the payment are numerous through Cash, credit card and debit card. Large malls provide free parking facilities. Moreover, by shopping these place, a person can save his precious time. On the other hand, Small shops give goods with reasonable price and we easily get one stuff for the small shop. These small shops are the sources of income for their family. Many local shop are closed due to people denied to visit there. It may have an adverse effect on local shops like lack of fund to support their family, affect to their children's education and basic requirement on a daily basis. To sum up, In my opinion big shopping malls are benefits for modern society and country because they are paying handsomely taxes that good for the nation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
refer to going for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, several options are available
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. I
personally
believe that the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is a quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development of the nation and harmful effect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shop.

On the one hand, In large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of product available
for example
: clothes, makeup, groceries, children's toys and food and beverages
as well
as with cinema, play zone area and food court facilities can be
also
accessible. At festival time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
promote discounts offer, free concert tickets or gifts to attract costumers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
frequently
.
Secondly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel comfortable, safe and secure even the payment are numerous through Cash, credit card and debit card. Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
provide free parking facilities.
Moreover
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
these place, a person can save his precious time.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with reasonable
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
price and
we
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one stuff for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are the sources of income for their family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
are closed
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'denied' is used with the gerund form: "denied visiting".
denied to visit
there. It may have an adverse effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
like lack of fund to support their family, affect to their children's education and basic requirement on a daily basis.

To sum up, In my opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are benefits for modern society and country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are paying
handsomely
taxes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the nation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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