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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v.3

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 3
How people buy their needs has changed many times since the beginning humanity’s adventure. In recent years, customers prefer to shop in large shopping centers or malls, which has resulted in closure on many small local shops. I personally consider this a positive development due to several reasons which will be discussed in the following. To begin with, it is more profitable to shop in the malls rather than local shops. First, if one buys from local shops, he will be forced to spend some hours to travel to many of them in order to provide a simple list of supplies. On the other hand, malls offer a wide range of products at one place, which helps customers to save time. Second, unlike local shops, malls’ customers can save money by the discounts they get ordinarily or as a customers’ club member. Consequently, shopping at malls will result in saving time and money, the most valuable assets in the modern life. Moreover, being a mall’s customer is an environmental friendly thing. As said before, the travels one needs to do for buying will be less by shopping at malls. Less travels mean less cars in the street, meaning less traffic as well as less air pollution. Research conducted in the UK has shown that after introduction of malls, the traffic and air pollution has decreased in the cities with them. Granted what was said, it must be taken into account that mall shopping is deteriorating for local economy. Local shops play a huge role in escalating local economy since they provide jobs for many individuals from nearby. Many people, who used to be the owner of one local shop, has been put out of the work by malls. To sum up, I am fond of traveling to the malls for shopping inasmuch as saving money, time and nature. Natural selection states the old destiny’s for the sake of new good, as do local shops for shopping centres.
How
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their needs has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
since the beginning humanity’s adventure. In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, which has resulted in closure on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. I
personally
consider this a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development due to several reasons which will
be discussed
in the following.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is more profitable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
First
, if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, he will
be forced
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours to travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them in order to provide a simple list of supplies.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
offer a wide range of products at one place, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Second, unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
can save money by the discounts they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ordinarily
or as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers’
club member.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
will result in saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money, the most valuable assets in the modern life.

Moreover
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
is an environmental friendly thing. As said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, the travels one needs to do for buying will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun travels is countable.
Less
travels mean
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
cars in the street, meaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
traffic
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
air pollution. Research conducted in the UK has shown that after introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, the traffic and air pollution has decreased in the cities with them.

Granted what
was said
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into account that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is deteriorating for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
play a huge role in escalating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy since they provide jobs for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals from nearby.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be the owner of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, has
been put
out of the work by malls.

To sum up, I am fond of traveling to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
inasmuch as saving money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and nature. Natural selection states the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
destiny’s for the sake of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, as do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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