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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v.2

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2
Traffic and pollution growth has been discussed for a long time, and one of the solutions presented is elevating the petrol price. But can it solve those problems for a long-term? This essay disagrees with the purpose commented before and shows other clean options like electronic cars to solve the pollution matters and how using bicycles could be good for traffic and health overall. To provide a better environment and breathing conditions in urban areas, electronic cars have been developing and improving to serve the population. The fact that they don't need gas to work makes them accessible to all social layers for its economy and efficiency. Besides, evaluations of European scientists have proved that the use of electronic cars prevents the emission of three tons of pollutants into the atmosphere. Another clean solution, but this time for traffic issues, is the use of bicycles. Many countries with a high level of population, like Japan, have adopted bicycles as transportation to avoid long hours in the traffic, that can lead them to stress. The companies which employees have experienced this new style of life notice the benefits in their good behaviour as a team and the downward in absence at work. To conclude, clean options like electronic cars and bicycles are alternatives to improve our way to commute in urban áreas, aiming better quality of life, instead of raising the petrol price. Better life consists in solving the traffic and pollution matters by helping the environment and delivering health to its residents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
and pollution growth has
been discussed
for a long time, and one of the solutions presented is elevating the petrol price.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
can it solve those problems for
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a long-term
? This essay disagrees with the purpose commented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
other clean options like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to solve the pollution matters and how using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and health
overall
.

To provide a better environment and breathing conditions in urban areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have been developing and improving to serve the population. The fact that they don't need
Did you mean "to gas"?
gas
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them accessible to all social layers for its economy and efficiency.
Besides
, evaluations of European scientists have proved that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
the emission of three tons of pollutants into the atmosphere.

Another clean solution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issues, is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries with a high level of population, like Japan, have adopted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
as transportation to avoid long hours in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, that can lead them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which employees have experienced this new style of life notice the benefits in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
as a team and the downward in absence at work.

To conclude
, clean options like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
are alternatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our way to commute in urban
Possible spelling mistake found.
áreas
, aiming better quality of life,
instead
of raising the petrol price. Better life consists in solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution matters by helping the environment and delivering health to its residents.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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