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In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before. v.4

In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before. v. 4
Recently, some people have become richer both in developed countries and developing countries because of the economic growth. The result of some studies presents that people in developing countries are happier than before while people in developed countries are in the opposite situation. This phenomenon might have happened because of two main reasons that I will discuss below. Competition is the first reason why people in developed countries are no happy that they were. Due to the economic growth, companies put them self in a competition. This condition creates new rules to workers. Employees are forced to work harder than before to avoid being beaten by other companies in terms of technology, quality and quantity. Take mobile phone companies as an example. They compete to develop new technology to attract consumers. People in developing countries, on the other hand, are focused more on building their businesses instead of competing each other because many of the companies are categorised as small to medium companies. The second reason is the time spent. When there are many competitions among companies, there is more work to do for the workers. This will lead to more time spent in the workplace rather than spending times to their private life. Unconsciously, these companies increase the stress level of their workers which means people in developed countries are no happy than before. In the opposite situation with that, people in developing countries become happier because they can earn more money for their family than they were, even though they have to spend more time in workplaces. It decreases their stress level. From two reasons I mentioned above, it is clearly seen that economic growth can bring wealthy to both countries which are the good side of it but the work pressure and the time spent are not worth for some people especially in developed countries which are the dark sides of economic growth. It also shows that wealthy is not the main guarantee for people to gain happiness in life, there is quality time with friends and families too.
Recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become richer both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. The result of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies presents that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are happier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
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countries
are in the opposite situation. This phenomenon might have happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that I will discuss below.

Competition is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are no happy that they were. Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
put them self in a competition. This condition creates new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to workers. Employees
are forced
to work harder than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to avoid
being beaten
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in terms of technology, quality and quantity. Take mobile phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as an example. They compete to develop new technology to attract consumers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
on the other hand
,
are focused
more on building their businesses
instead
of competing each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
as
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small
to medium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

The second
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reason
is the
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time
spent. When there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
competitions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, there is more work to do for the workers. This will lead to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent in the workplace
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to their private life.
Unconsciously
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level of their workers which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are no
Use "happier" to make a comparison with this adjective.
happy
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In the opposite situation with that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
become happier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can earn more money for their family than they were,
even though
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in workplaces. It decreases their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level.

From two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
I mentioned above, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
can bring wealthy to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side of it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the work pressure and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent are not worth for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are the dark sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that wealthy is not the main guarantee for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain happiness in life, there is quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with friends and families too.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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