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In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sports themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v.4

In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sports themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 4
Recently, interest in sport games is increasing dramatically. In order to satisfy people wishes the novel and complicated facilities are being created. The one of the eminent features is continuously coverage of sport on television. Some people believe that adolescences become more dependent on television, therefore, I personally think that television channels may not discourage the sport-lovers as the intrinsic issue is whether the youths love sports deeply. First of all, saturation with various types of sport programs lead teenagers to spend their time on watching television channels. In the upshot, this convenience restricts the young people by motionless and long-term sitting in front of screen, which is detrimental for health at all, instead of attending in any sport themselves. For instance, infant spends time on watching channels, similarly, this leads them may not to have a spare time on outdoor facilities, as a result television may cause avoiding themselves in sports. From one perspective, television programs can be considered as a motivation to juveniles. While watching screen they can copy the role models action, behavior and style, which is basement in their own way and bring it back to their practical. Likewise, in order to provide youths with such knowledge, sport channels should give opportunities to deal with training as well as instructing programs. From other perspectives, there are a great number of disabled all over the world. Such programs give them chance to reach complacency by watching, instead of attending. There are many facts about the man in wheelchair, who suffered by paralysis, is being inspired by role models, subsequently, this lead them to begin to move. In conclusion, the positive signs from sport channels overweight the detriments. The given afore opinions depict that sport programs should be increased rather than diminished, whereas, this would be beneficial to all abled as well as disabled people too.
Recently, interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
games is increasing
dramatically
. In order to satisfy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
wishes
the novel and complicated facilities are
being created
. The one of the eminent features is
continuously
coverage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that adolescences become more dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
therefore
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
may not discourage the sport-lovers as the intrinsic issue is whether the youths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
deeply
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, saturation with various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to spend their time on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
. In the upshot, this convenience restricts the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by motionless and long-term sitting in front of screen, which is detrimental for health at all,
instead
of attending in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
themselves.
For instance
, infant spends time on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
,
similarly
, this leads them may not to have a spare time on outdoor facilities,
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
may cause avoiding themselves in sports.

From one perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
can
be considered
as a motivation to juveniles. While watching screen they can copy the role models action, behavior and style, which is basement in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way and bring it back to their practical.
Likewise
, in order to provide youths with such knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
should give opportunities to deal with training
as well
as instructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. From other perspectives, there are a great number of disabled all over the world. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
give them chance to reach complacency by watching,
instead
of attending. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facts about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in wheelchair, who suffered by paralysis, is
being inspired
by role models,
subsequently
, this lead them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
signs from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
overweight the detriments. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Possible spelling mistake found.
afore
opinions depict that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
should
be increased
rather
than diminished, whereas, this would be beneficial to all
Possible spelling mistake found.
abled
as well
as disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
too.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sports themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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