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in order to make freshmen adapt to college life, which one is more helpful? 1. take part in the orientation program for a week; 2. meet regularly with seniors in the same major v.1

in order to make freshmen adapt to college life, which one is more helpful? 1. take part in the orientation program for a week; 2. meet regularly with seniors in the same major v. 1
There have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of people’s lives, especially in the field of education. Nowadays, an increasing number of students rely on computers for research and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to leave the original way of learning and to get knowledge through online schools. These changes in the learning process have brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease of importance of teachers in the classroom. Some people believe the role of teachers started to fade because computers have been helping some students to progress in their studies quicker compared to studies in an original classroom. For example, in the same classroom, students have different intellectual capacities, thus some would be tied to a slow advance in their studies because of others’ incapable of understanding. In this way, pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their own pace using computers instead of learning from teachers. However, the presence of a teacher is essential for students because the human contact influences them in positive ways. Firstly, students realizes that they are not dealing with a machine, but with a human being who deserves attention and respect. They also learn the importance of studying in a group and respect for other students, which helps them improve their social skills. Moreover, teachers are required in the learning process because they acknowledge some students’ deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra exercises or even suggesting a private tutor. Hence, students can have a better chance of avoiding a failure in a subject. In conclusion, the role of teachers in the learning process is still very important and it will continue to be such in the future because no machine can replace the human interaction and its consequences.
There have been immense advances in technology in most aspects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
in the field of education. Nowadays, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rely on computers for research and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the original way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge through online schools. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process have brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease of importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the classroom.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to fade
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computers have been helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to progress in their studies quicker compared to studies in an original classroom.
For example
, in the same classroom,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
intellectual capacities,
thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would
be tied
to a slow advance in their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of others’ incapable of understanding. In this way, pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace using computers
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from teachers.

However
, the presence of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the human contact influences them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
realizes that they are not dealing with a machine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with a human being who deserves attention and respect. They
also
learn the importance of studying in a group and respect for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are required
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they acknowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
deficiencies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra exercises or even suggesting a private tutor.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have a better chance of avoiding a failure in a subject.

In conclusion
, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and it will continue to be such in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no machine can replace the human interaction and its consequences.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay in order to make freshmen adapt to college life, which one is more helpful? 1. take part in the orientation program for a week; 2. meet regularly with seniors in the same major v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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