Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. v. 2

It is argued that countries with long average working time are more likely to be richer than those which do not work for long hours arduously. From my perspective, I'm not convinced by this statement, because it really depends on what type the country is, and also the average working time may be influenced by the peak value in a country. First of all, the history and degree of development of a country should be taken into consideration. Some developed countries like countries in Northern Europe where people are living a laid-back life and do not work strenuously are richer than developing countries like Korea. Because they have finished the accumulation of wealth in the past, which means they have already past the stage of earning more money and build up the fortune, to the point that they become a civilized welfare society now. Another notable point is, speaking of 'long average working time', a country's average working hours is determined by working hours in different regions within the country. In other words, the average working hours of some poor/rural/less urbanized countries could be more likely to be less than that of the metropolises. One clear example is the US, where people in the rural areas (which accounted for a large portion in terms of population) in the south are living a leisure, rural life while those in metropolises like New York are busy working day to day. The short average working time in the US may, therefore, be lessened by the low values of the rural areas with a large population, whereas as everyone knows the US is an economically successful country. Therefore, it is not objective and fair to attribute economic success to an average working time. In conclusion, it is impartial to ascribe a nation's economic success or prosperity to average working time. There is no direct link between the two, due to many factors like the degree of development and the factors contributing to the AVERAGE value.

IELTS essay Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It
is argued
that
countries
with long
average
working
time
are more likely to be richer than those which do not work for long
hours
arduously
. From my perspective, I'm not convinced by this statement,
because
it
really
depends on what type the
country
is, and
also
the
average
working
time
may
be influenced
by the peak value in a country.

First of all
, the history and degree of development of a
country
should
be taken
into consideration.
Some
developed
countries
like
countries
in Northern Europe where
people
are living a laid-back life and do not work
strenuously
are richer than developing
countries
like Korea.
Because
they have finished the accumulation of wealth in the past, which means they have already past the stage of earning more money and build up the fortune, to the point that they become a civilized welfare society
now
.

Another notable point is, speaking of 'long
average
working
time', a country's
average
working
hours
is determined
by
working
hours
in
different
regions within the
country
.
In other words
, the
average
working
hours
of
some
poor/rural/less urbanized
countries
could be more likely to be less than that of the metropolises. One
clear
example is the US, where
people
in the rural areas (which accounted for a large portion in terms of population) in the south are living a leisure, rural life while those in metropolises like New York are busy
working
day to day. The short
average
working
time
in the US may,
therefore
,
be lessened
by the low values of the rural areas with a large population, whereas as everyone knows the US is an
economically
successful
country
.
Therefore
, it is not objective and
fair
to attribute economic success to an
average
working
time.

In conclusion
, it is impartial to ascribe a nation's economic success or prosperity to
average
working
time
. There is no direct link between the two, due to
many
factors like the degree of development and the factors contributing to the
AVERAGE
value.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela
Essay
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar essay posts: