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In order to adapt to the life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better：attending a one-week orientation or introduction program when you are in the university campus, and it will begin before you have the cl v.2

In order to adapt to the life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better：attending a one-week orientation or introduction program when you are in the university campus, and it will begin before you have the cl v. 2
Many universities now provides two pathways for students to adapt to campus life as soon as possible. Some of the students prefer regular meeting at their first years with a senior to orientation and introduction program before the classes. However, my standpoint is the opposite of their. In the following sections, I will explain from three aspects why orientation is more appropriate than meeting. First, orientation and introduction program provides more objective information. Orientation is the official start of the semester. Students who attend orientation are more likely to feel prepared for university and succeed in their studies plus it gives students an opportunity to meet staff and new friends before the first day of classes. The information obtained by students can be attached to the latest policy of the school, which is comprehensive and specific about the school. For example, the University of Toronto has a number of different frosh weeks organized concurrently by different student groups within the university; including college societies, professional faculties and the students’ union. By contrast, as freshmen, if they ask the seniors in their major, the information they get is usually a biased personal preference. While those who have been at this school for several years are more familiar with school facilities and more experienced in choosing courses, the their solution is usually consistent with their personal circumstances, and it does not apply to each of the freshmen. Secondly, attending orientation before class can help students cultivate their personal abilities. Orientation is to assist students to have a comprehensive understanding of school facilities and policies before the beginning of term, so as to ensure that students can calmly solve it or seek help from teachers when they encounter problems. Through introduction programs, students can learn the professional content in advance and know their classmates. They can also familiarize themselves with each other and cultivate a sense of cooperation from some team work. However, new students ask the seniors for help on a regular basis when they face with the problems in their first year, which will make it easy for students to become dependent, and then avoid solving problems themselves. Consequently, they can' t adapt themselves to college life. To my personal example, as I was learning interior design, which has only a few Chinese students but I am one of them, there were many juniors asking me about the specialized courses in each summer. some of them even contacted me once or twice every week. Even sometimes, when I was busy with my own project without timely reply to them, they kept calling me rather than tried to solve problems. Some sophomores were even still asking me for help. Thirdly, participation in orientation costs less to new students. The cost here includes time and mental cost. To begin with, the orientation and intro programs are hold one week before the commence day, guaranteeing that students complete all the preparation before the start of study, so that they will concentrate on their schoolwork. When they encounter a problem, they are able to communicate with their peers and work together to solve it. Nevertheless, if they keep regular meeting with the seniors, some of their learning time will be occupied. In reality, the first year course is the most vital part to help them build the consciousness of thinking individually. Also, keeping in touch with the seniors itself is a process of interpersonal communication, which is definitely draining them. In a nutshell, it is the most effective to attend orientation and introduction program before the classes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
provides two pathways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to adapt to campus life as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer regular meeting at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
years with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
introduction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
However
, my standpoint is the opposite of their. In the following sections, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
from three aspects why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
is more appropriate than meeting.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
introduction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
provides more objective information.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Orientation
is the official
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the semester.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
are more likely to feel prepared for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and succeed in their studies plus it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
staff and new friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
day of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. The information obtained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be attached
to the latest policy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which is comprehensive and specific about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Toronto has a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
frosh weeks organized 
concurrently
 by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
groups within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
; including college societies, professional faculties and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
union. By contrast, as freshmen, if they ask the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
in their major, the information they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
is
usually
a biased personal preference. While those who have been at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for several years are more familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
facilities and more experienced in choosing courses,
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their solution" or "the solution"?
the their solution
is
usually
consistent with their personal circumstances, and it does not apply to each of the freshmen.

Secondly
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cultivate their personal abilities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Orientation
is to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a comprehensive understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
facilities and policies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the beginning of term,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
calmly
solve it or seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from teachers when they encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
introduction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn the professional content in advance and know their classmates. They can
also
 familiarize themselves with each other and cultivate a sense of cooperation from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
team work.
However
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ask the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
 on a regular basis when they face with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become dependent, and then avoid solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
themselves.
Consequently
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t adapt themselves to college life. To my personal example, as I was learning interior design, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am one of them, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
juniors asking me about the specialized courses in each summer.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
of them even contacted me once or twice every week. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, when I was busy with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
project without timely reply to them, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
calling me
rather
than tried to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
 sophomores were even
still
asking me for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

Thirdly
, participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
costs less to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The cost here includes time and mental cost. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
and intro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are hold one week
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'commence' is correct. If 'commence' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the commence
 day, guaranteeing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
complete all the preparation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of study,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will concentrate on their schoolwork. When they encounter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, they are able to communicate with their peers and work together to solve it.
Nevertheless
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
regular meeting with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their learning time will
be occupied
. In reality, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
course is the most vital part to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them build the consciousness of thinking
individually
.
Also
, keeping in touch with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
itself is a process of interpersonal communication, which is definitely draining them.

In a nutshell, it is the most effective to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
orientation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
introduction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
70Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to adapt to the life in university and succeed, if you are a freshman, which method do you think is better：attending a one-week orientation or introduction program when you are in the university campus, and it will begin before you have the cl v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
574 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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