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In my countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In my countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 1
Over the past few years, a majority of nations have imposed a ban on smoking in shared spaces such as parks, restaurants, and movie theatres and have instead created designated zones for it. While many smokers have not considered this as just, I believe it is absolutely correct and is need of the hour. To begin with, smoking is not only injurious for smokers, but is also deadly for humans who are in the vicinity. Passive smoking is considered dangerous, especially for children and expecting mothers. Studies conducted over the past decade have revealed that the ill effects of smoke generated by cigarettes on infants are disastrous and can lead to lifelong diseases such as asthma and lung cancer. Hence, it is mandatory to curb smoking in areas where kids can be exposed to its deadly fumes. In addition, the amount of waste generated by the butts and ash is another problem that has been seen across the world. Although there might be dustbins placed by the municipal organizations at short distances, it is not difficult to see cigarette butts on the streets everywhere. A research done by the students of the University of Michigan, it was discovered that the amount of garbage generated by these leftovers in Poland is equivalent to the annual produce of sugar in the country. So people who argue that restricting them from smoking in public places is not fair, are being selfish, and are ignoring environmental hazards caused by this activity. To conclude, smoking in common places has many adverse effects on public health and the cleanliness of the neighbourhood and hence I agree that it is mandatory to ensure that smoking is restricted to the smoking zones only.
Over the past few years, a majority of nations have imposed a ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in shared spaces such as parks, restaurants, and movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and have
instead
created designated zones for it. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
smokers have not considered this as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
, I believe it is
absolutely
 correct and
is need
of the hour.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
injurious for smokers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
deadly for humans who are in the vicinity. Passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is considered
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
,
especially
for children and expecting mothers. Studies conducted over the past decade have revealed that the ill effects of smoke generated by cigarettes on infants are disastrous and can lead to lifelong diseases such as asthma and lung cancer.
Hence
, it is mandatory to curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in areas where kids can
be exposed
to its deadly fumes.

In addition
, the amount of waste generated by the butts and ash is another problem that has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
across the world. Although there might be dustbins placed by the municipal organizations at short distances, it is not difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
cigarette butts on the streets everywhere. A research done by the students of the University of Michigan, it
was discovered
that the amount of garbage generated by these leftovers in Poland is equivalent to the annual produce of sugar in the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that restricting them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public places is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
, are being selfish, and are ignoring environmental hazards caused by this activity.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in common places has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adverse effects on public health and the cleanliness of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
and
hence
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is mandatory to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is restricted
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
zones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In my countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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