Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You were asked to write about your favourite anime. So naruto came to sasuke and kissed sakura in front of him. discuss your opinion. v.1

You were asked to write about your favourite anime. So naruto came to sasuke and kissed sakura in front of him. discuss your opinion. v. 1
The society of today has developed some beliefs that a child is better off learning from the comfort of his home rather than go to school. In my opinion, sending the child to school during his early years is very important as that will help mould his character and personality as well. Though studying at home is theoretically possible, it is always a downside for the kid. Firstly, they would not be able to socialize with other people of the same age as them in their class towards a common goal. Though it is possible to study at home, it is not possible to learn other valuable things such as working as a team or participating in activities. Furthermore, there will be no proof of learning if they study at home, and some extra effort will be needed to achieve their goals. Consequently, going to school is always an important first step in a child's life. Since a school is built around the system of education itself, all the tools and people knowledgeable in the particular field are available at comfort. Besides, working on projects together and studying for exams with friends tends to be a huge morale booster. Personality and Character moulding takes place by learning from teachers and making friends. Participation in extracurricular activities such as sports meets held by schools also provides extra credit for the resume. Taking all this into consideration, I would like to conclude saying that sending a child to school is necessary. I emphasize this because I strongly feel a person in their teens picks up on a lot of life skills. Most of these skills are acquired only if they step out into the world and start working along with the society and attend school.
The society of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
has developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beliefs that a child is better off learning from the comfort of his home
rather
than go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my opinion, sending the child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
during his early years is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
his character and personality
as well
.

Though studying at home is
theoretically
possible, it is always a downside for the kid.
Firstly
, they would not be able to socialize with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the same age as them in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
towards a common goal. Though it is possible to study at home, it is not possible to learn other valuable things such as working as a team or participating in activities.
Furthermore
, there will be no proof of learning if they study at home, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra effort will
be needed
to achieve their goals.

Consequently
, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is always an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
first
step in a child's life. Since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is built
around the system of education itself, all the tools and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
knowledgeable in the particular field are available at comfort.
Besides
, working on projects together and studying for exams with friends tends to be a huge morale booster. Personality and Character
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
takes place by learning from teachers and making friends. Participation in extracurricular activities such as sports meets held by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
provides extra credit for the resume.

Taking all this into consideration, I would like
to conclude
saying that sending a child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is necessary. I emphasize this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
strongly
feel a person in their teens picks up on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Most of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are acquired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they step out into the world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working along with the society and attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay You were asked to write about your favourite anime. So naruto came to sasuke and kissed sakura in front of him. discuss your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts