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Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. with this statement v. 2
It is often thought that teachers have more impact on a child's academic and cognitive development skills than parents. I agree that the mentor's role is vital in improving child's academic and social skills to a large extent. At the same time, the role of parents cannot be ignored either. The well-trained school teachers help a juvenile in enhancing his/her knowledge and communication skills. They guide the student on day-to-day basis, providing the information and encourage them to interact with their classmates. They engage them in various academic and extra-curricular activities such as quiz, competitions, school events, thus enabling the student to acquire knowledge and develop interpersonal skills. Their interaction with the trainee will help them to understand their abilities and guide them accordingly. The conducive environment also helps the child to imbibe and exhibit their learning quicker. For instance, we have seen many pupils develop good conversation skills after their school. The tutor's approach influences the kid's development in terms of book knowledge and their ability to talk with others. On the other hand, father's and mother's influence on their offspring should be considered as well. They are the first mentors right from the birth of the baby. They talk, discuss and explain about various spheres of life in general and the need for good talking skills and develop those skills. They guide them informally and motivate them to interact with people, cheer them up for every participation and achievement, prepare them to deal with the failures and help them turn into stepping stones. In conclusion, I believe that the educators have a key role in the enhancement of young one's intelligence and social skills, but to some extent it can be contributed to the parents as well.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that teachers have more impact on a child's academic and cognitive development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
than parents. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the mentor's role is vital in improving child's academic and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to a large extent. At the same time, the role of parents cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
either.

The well-trained school teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a juvenile in enhancing his/her knowledge and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. They guide the student on day-to-day basis, providing the information and encourage them to interact with their classmates. They engage them in various academic and extra-curricular activities such as quiz, competitions, school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
thus
enabling the student to acquire knowledge and develop interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Their interaction with the trainee will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to understand their abilities and guide them
accordingly
. The conducive environment
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the child to imbibe and exhibit their learning quicker.
For instance
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conversation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
after their school. The tutor's approach influences the kid's development in terms of book knowledge and their ability to talk with others.

On the other hand
, father's and mother's influence on their offspring should
be considered
as well
. They are the
first
mentors right from the birth of the baby. They talk, discuss and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about various spheres of life
in general
and the need for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
talking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and develop those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
guide them
informally
and motivate them to interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, cheer them up for every participation and achievement, prepare them to deal with the failures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them turn into stepping stones.

In conclusion
, I believe that the educators have a key role in the enhancement of young one's intelligence and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent it can
be contributed
to the parents
as well
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. with this statement v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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