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in most countries the number of plants and animals species is decreasing what is causing this? what can be do to improve the situation? v.1

in most countries the number of plants and animals species is decreasing what is causing this? what can be do to improve the situation? v. 1
Decreasing population of many plants and animal species has raised global concerns during the past several years. Several scientific studies have proven that *anthropogenic* factors such as deforestation, pollution, and global warming are *primary* factors behind the rapidly falling population of these species To begin with, since the *dawn* of the twentieth century, humans have *exploited* natural resources for economic progress. Huge *swathes* of trees have been cleared to construct cities, collect raw material for various industries, and build factories and dams. Such large scale *residential* and commercial projects have not only led to the *elimination* of several animal and plant species but also a reduction in the population of many others such as the Tiger and Rhinoceros Moreover, air, water, and land pollution caused by human activities have led to a reduction in the number of house sparrows that were a common sight a few years ago. Also, global warming has led to an increase in the Earth’s temperature at a few places and fall at other places. Consequently, animals such as the polar bear and snow leopard are endangered species on the verge of extinction. Protecting and preserving animal and plant species requires close coordination of individuals, institutions, private companies, and governments. While government policy and programs for reducing deforestation, promoting afforestation, and regulating *vehicular* pollution are important, companies also need to act environmentally responsible by following green practices. Individuals also should abandon any activity that has a high carbon footprint In conclusion, if animal and plant species are not preserved, it will lead to ecological imbalance and make earth unsustainable. Acting responsibly, we all need to unite and protect and plant species for our future generation.
Decreasing population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species has raised global concerns during the past several years. Several scientific studies have proven that *anthropogenic* factors such as deforestation, pollution, and global warming are *primary* factors behind the
rapidly
falling population of these
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
species


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, since the *dawn* of the twentieth century, humans have *exploited* natural resources for economic progress. Huge *swathes* of trees have
been cleared
to construct cities, collect raw material for various industries, and build factories and dams. Such large scale *residential* and commercial projects have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
led to the *elimination* of several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a reduction in the population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others such as the Tiger and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Rhinoceros


Moreover
, air, water, and land pollution caused by human activities have led to a reduction in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
sparrows that were a common sight a few years ago.
Also
, global warming has led to an increase in the Earth’s temperature at a few places and fall at other places.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as the polar bear and snow leopard
are endangered
species on the verge of extinction.

Protecting and preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species requires close coordination of individuals, institutions, private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policy and programs for reducing deforestation, promoting afforestation, and regulating *vehicular* pollution are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
need to act
environmentally
responsible by following green practices. Individuals
also
should abandon any activity that has a high carbon
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
footprint


In conclusion
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species are not preserved, it will lead to ecological imbalance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
earth unsustainable. Acting
responsibly
, we all need to unite and protect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
species for our future generation.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay in most countries the number of plants and animals species is decreasing what is causing this? what can be do to improve the situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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