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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.6

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 6
In the era of economic crisis disappointing regarding job and shortage of financial assets is now common. Some people think that it is better to accept such a scenario and other opines that doing effort is the only way to better condition. I shall discuss both views and give my point of view regarding this issue. To begin with, a major reason behind unsatisfactory for a job is lower pay for the work. In developing countries, people often work with a lower payment, such scenario rise stratification to a job. Secondly, competition plays also a huge role. There is a tough competition between employees so some time employees are not able to handle such pressure and feelings of disappointment will rise. Moreover, sometimes internal conflict is also behind such condition and due to conflict employees or worker does not manage a healthy relationship with their boss and colleagues. Furthermore, nowadays there are more and more job-seekers. For example, companies get hundreds of applications for one vacancy so the majority of the population is unemployed and they are suffering to financial shortage. On the other side, some people think that we have to do something for improvement in such a situation. In days of competition, employers have to able kept a healthy environment, for good performance, they can give reward to the best employee so feeling of disappointment would not rise, companies can give job security and they should have given Proper salary to a deserving candidate. Next, the government can do a lot for the financial crisis, they can employ youth if everyone has a job then chances of suffering from money shortage will reduce. Besides, some employees think that they are overqualified for a job so they do not get job opportunities. To sum up, in my opinion, the best way to survive this situation is making some effort to better condition. Government, job provider and higher authorities of companies should help a lot.
In the era of economic crisis disappointing regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and shortage of financial assets is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
common.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to accept such a scenario and other opines that doing effort is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to better condition. I shall discuss both views and give my point of view regarding this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a major reason behind unsatisfactory for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is lower pay for the work. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
work with a lower payment, such scenario rise stratification to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Secondly
, competition plays
also
a huge role. There is a tough competition between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are not able to handle such pressure and feelings of disappointment will rise.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
internal conflict is
also
behind such condition and due to conflict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
or worker does not manage a healthy relationship with their boss and colleagues.

Furthermore
, nowadays there are more and more job-seekers.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hundreds of applications for one vacancy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the majority of the population is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unemployed and
they are suffering to financial shortage.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do something for improvement in such a situation. In days of competition, employers have
Did you mean "to be able"?
to able
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
a healthy environment, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performance, they can give reward to the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
feeling of disappointment would not rise,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
security and
they should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given


Proper salary to a deserving candidate.
Next
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can do a lot for the financial crisis, they can employ youth if everyone has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
then chances of suffering from money shortage will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
are overqualified
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.

To sum up, in my opinion, the best way to survive this situation is making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effort to better condition.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
provider and higher authorities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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