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In many sub-continent countries like India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, Cricket has become more popular than the national sports of these countries. v.3

In many sub-continent countries like India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, Cricket has become more popular than the national sports of these countries. v. 3
Undoubtedly, cricket is the well- known game among all the people in subcontinent countries. Since it gives more entertainment and greater competitions, it achieved higher popularity than the national sports. This essay intends to analyse the reasons for this phenomenon in detail. First of all, cricket is much more thrilling and interesting to watch and play for all age groups than other sports. To precise, people can be enjoyed by playing or even watching, which is the main attractive feature. For instance, in India, even though many people have busy life schedule, they are interested in watching cricket either through television or live because it gives more energy and happiness. Moreover, a lot of people including young and old find enough time to play cricket in their surroundings in spite of their unattended higher priorities. This is because of the attractive elements of cricket sport, which also enhance positive and vibrant qualities. Secondly, it is a team sport. In other words, teamwork is essential to play cricket successfully. Many people like these types of sports rather than solitary sports as people can show their strength and unity in front of others. Furthermore, players help each other to overcome the drawbacks. Such activities develop team spirit among players considerably. Most of the subcontinent countries including India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lana plays in international cricket and their successes in this game are tremendous. This is another reason cricket has gained a huge popularity in this part of the world. The national games like Hockey, kabaddi and volleyball are not attractive to people in these countries as there are fewer events of these games. It is obvious that mass people would show more enthusiasm in the sports where their national team play at the international level and become the best in the world. Finally, unlike national sports, it is very to understand and learn. To explain, rules and regulations of cricket are much easier to learn for even a common man. Therefore its’ fame has reached greater heights. This would mean that cricket is very common and popular game in the sub- continental countries. In conclusion, despite it consumes a long time, it helps people to entertain and relax enormously than the national sports. I hope authority should consider these points and take appropriate measures to encourage people for playing national sports also.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
is the well- known game among all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in subcontinent countries. Since it gives more entertainment and greater competitions, it achieved higher popularity than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This essay intends to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the reasons for this phenomenon in detail.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
is much more thrilling and interesting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
for all age groups than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. To precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be enjoyed
by playing or even watching, which is the main attractive feature.
For instance
, in India,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have busy life schedule, they
are interested
in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
either through television or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives more energy and happiness.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
in their surroundings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
their unattended higher priorities. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the attractive elements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, which
also
enhance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and vibrant qualities.

Secondly
, it is a team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, teamwork is essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
successfully
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like these types of
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sports
rather
than solitary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their strength and unity in front of others.
Furthermore
, players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to overcome the drawbacks. Such activities develop team spirit among players
considerably
.

Most of the subcontinent countries including India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lana
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
and their successes in this game are tremendous. This is another reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
has gained a huge popularity in this part of the world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like Hockey,
Possible spelling mistake found.
kabaddi
and volleyball are not attractive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these countries as there are fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. It is obvious that mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
more enthusiasm in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
where their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
at the international level and become the best in the world.

Finally
, unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
to understand and learn. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
are much easier to learn for even a common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its’
fame has reached greater heights. This would mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common and popular game in the sub- continental countries.

In conclusion
, despite it consumes a long time, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to entertain and relax
Use "(enormously)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
enormously
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. I hope authority should consider these points and take appropriate measures to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In many sub-continent countries like India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, Cricket has become more popular than the national sports of these countries. v. 3

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
391 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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