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Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. v.8

Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. v. 8
We are constantly surrounded by advertising, from television commercials, radio advertisement or billboards to posters on the roads. People have different views about the effects of advertising on our lives. In my opinion, there are both positive and negative impacts of advertising. There are two main reasons why it could be argued that advertising has several benefits on our lives. Firstly, advertising plays an important role in the economy. Companies need to tell consumers about their products and services. Advertising informs us about the choices we have and the use of the products. For example, Kelling ' cornflakes have a variety of flavours for different ranges to offer for different age groups and now also for people want to lose weight, thus giving consumers different choice to select from. So, without advertising, we would have fewer choices. Secondly, advertising is a creative industry that employs many people, therefore providing jobs opportunities and income for many people. So, without advertising, there would be higher unemployment rate. On the other hand, it is understandable why some people might think that advertising is a negative part of our lives. One problem is that advertisers often aim their marketing at the young age groups. Children, for instance, can easily be influenced by advertisements. So this put pressure on their parents to buy them things by pestering and nagging. Another problem is that many advertisements manipulate people too badly. Capturing the minds of consumers is the main intention of the advertisements. Thus by persuading people that buying a product will make them happier and with higher social status. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against advertising, but I believe there are both positive and negative aspects of advertising. And I recommended that Advertising should be regulated and advertisements which aimed at children should be controlled or even banned.
We are
constantly
surrounded by advertising, from television commercials, radio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
or billboards to posters on the roads.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
views about the effects of advertising on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of advertising.

There are two main reasons why it could
be argued
that advertising has several benefits on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
, advertising plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the economy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
consumers about their products and services. Advertising informs us about the choices we have and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the products.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kelling
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
cornflakes have a variety of
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ranges to offer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
age groups and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to lose weight,
thus
giving consumers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
choice to select from.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, without advertising, we would have fewer choices.

Secondly
, advertising is a creative industry that employs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
therefore
providing jobs opportunities and income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, without advertising, there would be higher unemployment rate.

On the other hand
, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advertising is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. One problem is that advertisers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
aim their marketing at the young age groups. Children,
for instance
, can
easily
be influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this put pressure on their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them things by pestering and nagging. Another problem is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
too
badly
. Capturing the minds of consumers is the main intention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
by persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that buying a product will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happier and with higher social status.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments both for and against advertising,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of advertising. And I recommended that Advertising should
be regulated
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
which aimed at children should
be controlled
or even banned.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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