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In many sub-continent countries like India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, Cricket has become more popular than the national sports of these countries. v.1

In many sub-continent countries like India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, Cricket has become more popular than the national sports of these countries. v. 1
Cricket is a sport which includes two opposite teams played by 11 players on each side and it is one of the most popular outdoor sports in these modern days. The total number of audience and the importance of this game have evolved beyond boundaries in the recent times than ever, particularly in countries like India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Pakistan etc. and I believe the number of reasons contributed towards this change is numerous. But it is undoubtedly arguable that the significance of cricket has crossed as that of the national games, in almost all these countries. Being an Indian, I would consider my self-privileged to explain what happened in India which has, in turn, helped cricket to be a celebrated game. The national sport of India is declared as hockey and India always has had a wonderful hockey team now and in the past. But it is quite evident that during the mid-80s the exposure cricket had received internationally is commendable when compared to any other sport, so as in India too. Those days, hockey was also given similar importance but with India's victory of International Cricket Council's world cup in the early 90s, the dream of an Asian country winning an international title has become a dream come true for not only Indians but also for the other subcontinents in Asia. Ever since then, the players were treated as celebrities and apparently the popularity of the game has increased and as time has passed, India became one of the most successful and a record winning team in the entire world. Adding to the flavour, it would be insensitive, if I do not count the contributions of individual cricket players and their influence in the Indian community. Some players like Sachin Tendulkar and Saurav Ganguly has been an envied opening partnership for all other opponent countries, and they have been very successful in making and achieving new records day by day. Sachin Tendulkar alone holds more than 200 records in the game of Cricket and he is the most run scorer and century holder in all forms of cricket. Additionally, when we go back to the history of cricket it is worth mentioning that, cricket has its root of origin to England, and I presume being a colony to the English for around 200 years until 1947, cricket has got widely popularised during these days. In summary, although, I have so many other reasons to be specifically pointed out, I consider the above said details are most significant to be told. However, I would be more than eager to witness what sport could possibly replace Cricket from its position in the future, as I believe change is inevitable and the world is dynamic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cricket
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
which includes two opposite teams played by 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
on each side and it is one of the most popular outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in these modern days. The total number of audience and the importance of this game have evolved beyond boundaries in the recent times than ever,
particularly
in countries like India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Pakistan etc. and I believe the number of reasons contributed towards this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is numerous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
undoubtedly
arguable that the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
has crossed as that of the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, in almost all these countries.

Being an Indian, I would consider my self-privileged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what happened in India which has, in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
to be a celebrated game. The national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
of India
is declared
as hockey and India always has had a wonderful hockey team
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is quite evident that during the mid-80s the exposure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
had received
internationally
is commendable when compared to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as in India too. Those days, hockey was
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
similar importance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with India's victory of International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cricket
Council's world cup in the early 90s, the dream of an Asian country winning an international title has become a dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Indians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subcontinents in Asia. Ever since then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
were treated
as celebrities and
apparently
the popularity of the game has increased and as time has passed, India became one of the most successful and a record winning team in the entire world.

Adding to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
, it would be insensitive, if I do not count the contributions of individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and their influence in the Indian community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Saurav
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ganguly
has been an envied opening partnership for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
opponent countries, and they have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful in making and achieving new records day by day.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
alone holds more than 200 records in the game of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Cricket and
he is the most run scorer and century holder in all forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
.
Additionally
, when we go back to the history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
it is worth mentioning that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
has its root of origin to England, and I presume being a colony to the English for around 200 years until 1947,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cricket
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
widely
Possible spelling mistake. 'popularised' is British English.
popularised
during these days.

In summary, although, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons to be
specifically
pointed out, I consider the above said
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
are most significant to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
.
However
, I would be more than eager to witness what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
could
possibly
replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cricket
from its position in the future, as I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is inevitable and the world is dynamic.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In many sub-continent countries like India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, Cricket has become more popular than the national sports of these countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
454 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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