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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.1

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
In some areas new houses are required, but the only location available for constructing them is the rural areas. Some people think it is more essential to preserve the rural areas and not construct new dwellings there. This easy disagree that it is vital to conserve countryside and not build new residence there. To begin with, one reason for disagreeing is because of the increase in population. With increasing population in the city centre, there will be limited homes for people to live in. For example, a survey by the Cambridge University found that 5% of the total population in New York City had no place to stay due to lack of accommodations. Nevertheless, if they had a place to live in, rising numbers of people in the urban areas would not have been a problem. Additionally, building more houses in the countryside would lead to economic development. Industries would want to move to these places to setup their branch to provide basic needs for the people. Also, there would be more employments for the people. For instance, The Sunday Times recently reported that 72% of rural areas experienced economic growth when more houses were built compared to when they were not. Notwithstanding, if they had not experienced growth, constructing new apartment does not correlates with economic growth. In conclusion, due to the important roles accommodations plays for humans and developments, I strongly believe that the countryside should be developed to tackle the increasing challenges faced in the city as a result of limited apartments.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are required
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
location available for constructing them is the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more essential to preserve the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and not construct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
dwellings there. This easy disagree that it is vital to conserve countryside and not build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
residence there.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one reason for disagreeing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increase in population. With increasing population in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, there will
be limited
homes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
For example
, a survey by the Cambridge University found that 5% of the total population in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York City had no place to stay due to lack of accommodations.
Nevertheless
, if they had a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in, rising numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would not have been a problem.

Additionally
, building more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in the countryside would lead to economic development. Industries would want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to these places
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
to setup
their branch to provide basic needs for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, there would be more employments for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, The Sunday Times recently reported that 72% of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
experienced economic growth when more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were built
compared to when they were not. Notwithstanding, if they had not experienced growth, constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
apartment does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "correlate"
correlates
with economic growth.

In conclusion
, due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles accommodations plays for humans and developments, I
strongly
believe that the countryside should
be developed
to tackle the increasing challenges faced in the city
as a result
of limited apartments.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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