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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is important to protect countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.43

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is important to protect countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 43
Ever rising population around the world has led to the expansion of many cities to their fullest, demanding settlement of people in the adjacent rural areas. While it is discouraged by some people considering the negative consequences, it has become inevitable to counter the related detrimental impacts on the cities. I will discuss why ultimately we need to build the new residences in the countryside. The movement of people from the cities leads to the construction of new residential facilities in the rural areas, taking the share of the fertile farming lands. The prime significance of rural areas is due to their agricultural business, which is also the prime source of earning of the inhabitants. However, due to these infrastructure developments, the villagers need to relocate their farms to some other lands, which hamper their agricultural produce. For example, major agricultural farms in Pakistan are located in villages around its big city Lahore, but the migration of people for better education and employment opportunities has gradually made these villages the part of the city, cutting off the cultivated produce. Conversely, it is a necessity of the time to expand the residential amenities from cities to the countryside, primarily because of the rising pollution in the urban areas. The number of vehicles on the cities’ roads is continuously rising because of the ever rising population and their improved earnings. Additionally, heaps of domestic wastes are also aggravating the pollution problems in these areas. This is the reason that smog has taken over the whole city of Lahore. The air quality has fallen to a dangerously low level. In conclusion, it is an undeniable fact that construction of new houses in the countryside has its drawbacks, but it has become a necessity to accommodate the ever rising population in the cities and to counter the bad effects of the resulting urban pollution.
Ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rising
population around the world has led to the expansion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to their fullest, demanding settlement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the adjacent rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. While it
is discouraged
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
considering the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences, it has become inevitable to counter the related detrimental impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. I will discuss why
ultimately
we need to build the new residences in the countryside.

The movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
leads to the construction of new residential facilities in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, taking the share of the fertile farming lands. The prime significance of rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is due to their agricultural business, which is
also
the prime source of earning of the inhabitants.
However
, due to these infrastructure developments, the villagers need to relocate their farms to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other lands, which hamper their agricultural produce.
For example
, major agricultural farms in Pakistan
are located
in villages around its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city Lahore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for better education and employment opportunities has
gradually
made these villages the part of the city, cutting off the cultivated produce.

Conversely
, it is a necessity of the time to expand the residential amenities from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to the countryside,
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rising
pollution in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The number of vehicles on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
roads is
continuously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rising
population and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
earnings.
Additionally
, heaps of domestic wastes are
also
aggravating the pollution problems in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This is the reason that smog has taken over the whole city of Lahore. The air quality has fallen to a
dangerously
low level.

In conclusion
, it is an undeniable fact that construction of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in the countryside has its drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has become a necessity to accommodate the ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rising
population in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and to counter the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects of the resulting urban pollution.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is important to protect countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 43

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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