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In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there. what is your opinion about this? v.38

In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there. what is your opinion about this? v. 38
House ownership is becoming increasingly popular. It is argued by some people that in many areas, construction of buildings for homes is necessary, but vacant spaces are only available in rural centres, others are of the believe that the countryside should be protected by not building new houses there. In my opinion, I do not support the view that non-urban areas should be shielded from constructing of modern houses because this will not allow for infrastructural development as well as can lead to the backwardness of such environment. Firstly, the protection of the suburb by not erecting the latest edifice will give opportunity for advancement in such area. This is because this territory will be devoid of modern structural buildings which can allow for foreign investment which in the long run benefits the entire society. For instance, a remote village in Nigeria was reported to have lost access to other parts of the state because they lacked basic amenities. Consequently, this results to lack of necessary facilities that can improve and better the lives of the people living in such places. Furthermore, shielding the country homes and not putting up recent houses within them will lead to underdevelopment of the area. In other words, such surroundings will not grow and revolve into a modern one because of its resistance to structural buildings that can impress people's immigration. For instance, many villages in Nigeria are facing economic challenges which are caused by inflation in the prices of goods and services imported from rural centres. Thus, these places are faced with harsh situations and backwardness as they are unable to meet up with their counterparts in towns. In conclusion, latest houses are needed in many places, but some people are of the view that it is more essential to keep the suburb areas by not building contemporary abode there. I believe that this will lead to lack of basic social needs and cause little or no advancement.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
House
ownership is becoming
increasingly
popular. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
for homes is necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
vacant spaces are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available in rural
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, others are of the
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that the countryside should
be protected
by not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
there. In my opinion, I do not support the view that non-urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
should
be shielded
from constructing of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
for infrastructural development
as well
as can lead to the backwardness of such environment.

Firstly
, the protection of the suburb by not erecting the latest edifice will give opportunity for advancement in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this territory will be devoid of modern structural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
for foreign investment which in the long run benefits the entire society.
For instance
, a remote village in Nigeria
was reported
to have lost access to other parts of the state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lacked basic amenities.
Consequently
, this results to lack of necessary facilities that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and better the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in such places.

Furthermore
, shielding the country homes and not putting up recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
within them will lead to underdevelopment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
In other words
, such surroundings will not grow and revolve into a modern one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its resistance to structural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that can impress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's immigration.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
villages in Nigeria are facing economic challenges which
are caused
by inflation in the prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services imported from rural
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
Thus
, these places
are faced
with harsh situations and backwardness as they are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with their counterparts in towns.

In conclusion
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are needed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the view that it is more essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the suburb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
by not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
contemporary abode there. I believe that this will lead to lack of basic social needs and cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no advancement.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important do protect the countryside and not build new homes there. what is your opinion about this? v. 38

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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